Insurance Persistence Sales Insurance Persistence Sales , gopher hole gopher hole , See, I told you we wouldn't be safe from insurance salesmen.
Safety Training Competency , Offensive Driving School , That's good ... but you slowed down at the last stoplight.
Animals Resources Recruitment Animals Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Professionalism Human Personnel Professionalism , We want employees who give 100% of themselves.
Initiative Managers Initiative Managers , Discipline ejection seat Discipline ejection seat , Any more bright ideas?
Animals Pets Unions Animals Pets Unions , Better Bones Better Bones , On Tuesdays they go to ASPCA meetings.
Competency Managers Productivity Competency Managers Productivity , , Gentlemen, I suggest we stop promoting managers on the basis of seniority.
Ethics Ethics , Parking Permits Parking Permits , Yes, it is a nasty paper cut, but you don't qualify for handicapped parking.
safety service , fireman , 911-DONUT NO CAPTION
Leadership Responsibility Leadership Responsibility , , The Buck Stops Here NO CAPTION
Doctors Effectiveness Health Doctors Effectiveness Health , , Stop Smoking Clinic NO CAPTION
Miscellaneous Safety Miscellaneous Safety , man eating plant man eating plant , Vegetarians give me gas.
Competency Resources Recruitment Competency Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , I quit my last job because everyone there hated my guts.
Doctors Politics communications Doctors Politics communications , Government Government , It's wedged in there pretty tight, Mr. Mayor. But it's not as bad as last time.
Productivity , , Now I remember why we stopped having these brainstorming sessions.
, Shmoozo Agency Professionalism Public Relations Shmoozo Agency Professionalism Public Relations , I know it seems like a public relations nightmare...but opinion polls change!
Resources Miscellaneous Resources Miscellaneous , Human birds Human birds , It's not a bad job, but I hate the hours.
Awareness Resources Managers Awareness Resources Managers , Human Our Evil Supervisor Human Our Evil Supervisor , Why would anyone send me a dozen brooms?
Managers Managers , Cards for all Occasions Cards for all Occasions , Do you have anything for twisted, mean- spirited, overbearing supervisors?
Animals Effectiveness Pets Animals Effectiveness Pets , Seek Kill Exterminators Seek Kill Exterminators , No, Fifi ... the mouse. Get the mouse!
Doctors Ethics Doctors Ethics , Chiroprator Chiroprator , Hi, honey. Good news - we can afford the new car.
Lawyers , Real Estate army , The owner wants to know if you're willing to assume the existing mortgage.
Leadership Leadership , boss boss , Send in the little people - I have to show them I'm a compassionate boss.
Competency Training Training Competency Training Training , Student Free Haircuts barber Student Free Haircuts barber , How Vincent van Gogh really lost his ear.
Communications Communications , naked naked , It seems you misunderstood when I said you should visualize the audience naked.
Banks Death Responsibility Banks Death Responsibility , cemetary cemetary , Dave Brown 1938-1993 Still Owing $112,000 To The First National Bank NO CAPTION
Competency Effectiveness Competency Effectiveness , crystal ball crystal ball , ... and this is our corporate planning group.
Health Persistence Health Persistence , smoker smoker , Congratulations - 38 days without a cigarette!
Competency Marriage Competency Marriage , Hair Tonic Hair Tonic , I don't get it. You shoot hoops and score goals ... but have no aim in the bathroom.
Effectiveness Persistence Effectiveness Persistence , cuts cuts , I give up ... what is the world record for shaving with the same razor?
Bureaucracy Bureaucracy , , We've got too many damn bureaucrats! Prepare a requisition for more people to study the problem.
Doctors Health Psychiatry Doctors Health Psychiatry , Seeya Psychiatrist Seeya Psychiatrist , I don't have any emotional problems ... can I borrow some of yours?
Planning Travel Planning Travel , airplane airplane , ... and on behalf of the flight crew, we hope you enjoy your stay in Alaska.
Competency Lawyers doctors Competency Lawyers doctors , , Quick! Somebody call a lawyer!
Evolution Quality Restaurants Evolution Quality Restaurants , Diet Gourmet Food Diet Gourmet Food , We have to trim the fat to stay competitive.
psychiatry service , Welcome Society Imaginary Friends , I remember these guys from last year ... and they're not big tippers.
Innovation Technology Innovation Technology , bar code bar code , It makes you miss the old punch clock, doesn't it?
Animals Courtesy Animals Courtesy , donkey donkey , Say, who are you calling a jackass?
Animals Entertainment Television Animals Entertainment Television , New Tricks 101 New Tricks 101 , Are you kidding, Ralph?! A couple of smart old dogs like us are sure to get on late-night television.
Animals Farming Reliability Animals Farming Reliability , cows cows , It says 'best before November 17.'
Negotiations Unions Negotiations Unions , Cut Our Pay Cut Our Pay , I don't think reverse psychology is gonna work.
Teamwork Training Teamwork Training , car car , Back Seat Driving School NO CAPTION
Planning Reliability Planning Reliability , , Maybe you should just wake up earlier.
Negotiations Unions Negotiations Unions , Softer Toilet Paper Softer Toilet Paper , I'm afraid we don't have union support on this one.
Advertising Communications Advertising Communications , cave woman cave woman , I hate junk mail.
Innovation Managers Innovation Managers , consultant consultant , Management thinks I can offer a new perspective.
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous , false teeth romance false teeth romance , Look, Emma's got a hickey.
bureaucracy , Research Lab government , We have a government grant to see if the light stays on when the door is closed.
Managers Training Managers Training , Management Management , I preferred the course on looting and pillaging.
Competency Leisure Competency Leisure , eskimo golf eskimo golf , Mind if I play through?
persistence religion persistence religion , ark ark , What d'ya mean you never heard of a duck-billed McDermott?
Effectiveness , Professionalism coffee , No more morning meetings until the coffee machine is fixed.
Evolution Planning Evolution Planning , The Feather Company The Feather Company , Whose stupid idea was it to take over a tar company?
, Economy tatoo parlour Economy tatoo parlour , Thank God the Recession's Over NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Health Effectiveness Health , addiction dungeon smoking addiction dungeon smoking , I think I finally found a no-smoking program that works.
Death Miscellaneous Death Miscellaneous , devil devil , Yeah, but it's a dry heat.
Lawyers Marriage Lawyers Marriage , court court , You can't divorce your wife just because she refuses to laugh at your jokes.
, ,
Communications Competency Technology Communications Competency Technology , computer computer , Still haven't figured out the e-mail system, huh, Bob?
Doctors Health Doctors Health , 200 000 Diseases 200 000 Diseases , You just need two more diseases, and you'll have had everything in the book.
Resources Motivation Resources Motivation , Worry Happy Human Worry Happy Human , Geez, I hate these employee motivation seminars.
Leisure Productivity Leisure Productivity , Fish Fish , Give me three large bass ... and don't bother to wrap them.
advertising , Wash creativity , It's cheaper than fliers.
Animals Marketing Animals Marketing , Creativity camera Creativity camera , No, Felix, you have to act natural or the magazine won't buy it.
Awareness Competency Crime Awareness Competency Crime , auto thieves auto thieves , Hey look, Spriggs ... this moron left the keys in the car!
competency lawyers , Hatfield , I think the judge meant for you to sign a truce.
Ethics Initiative Teamwork Ethics Initiative Teamwork , Professionalism accident Professionalism accident , Work with me, will ya? ... This is front page material!
Animals Effectiveness Maintenance Animals Effectiveness Maintenance , Pest Control Pest Control , This seems a little too easy.
Travel , Jane , Damn, I hate rush hour in this jungle. I've been waiting 20 minutes for a vine.
Resources Resources , Discipline Human Professionalism giant Discipline Human Professionalism giant , Yeah, this time I told the secretarial pool to send me a real knock out.
Ethics Ethics , Professionalism angel Professionalism angel , It's not embezzlement! It's a career move.
Retail Retail , cents cents , Don't you have anything smaller?
Quality Restaurants Service Quality Restaurants Service , waitress waitress , The cook wants to know if you have any next of kin.
Health Health , cigarettes cigarettes , How long have you been a member of Smoker's Anonymous?
Animals Competency Productivity Responsibility Animals Competency Productivity Responsibility , monkey monkey , Of course I have a monkey on my back, who d'ya think does all the work.
Resources Politics Resources Politics , Human Human , There is no sex discrimination here because we fired all the men.
Innovation Sales Innovation Sales , Acme Paint Sprinkler Acme Paint Sprinkler , That's right - you can paint this room every day!
Reliability Teamwork Reliability Teamwork , cavemen cavemen , Say, how 'bout I get the vegetables.
Religion Religion , Government Toll Red Sea Transit Authority Government Toll Red Sea Transit Authority , You know, of course, there's a toll.
Crime Negotiations Crime Negotiations , plea bargain plea bargain , For a reduced fine, I'll give you the names of three speeders and a litter bug.
Change Innovation Managers Change Innovation Managers , , Caution Management Resistance NO CAPTION
Communications Competency Communications Competency , fire fire , Put Out Fire NO CAPTION
innovation , Reception professionalism , Another morning meeting with the inventor of the snooze button.
Quality Reliability Quality Reliability , Fly Nite Courier Professionalism Fly Nite Courier Professionalism , Yeah, yeah, the check is in the mail.
Television Unions Television Unions , News News , In the local news ... employees at Buxley's Dry Cleaners are still on strike.
Innovation Marriage Teamwork Innovation Marriage Teamwork , Benefits Morrison Industries Home Office Benefits Morrison Industries Home Office , Hey, we just got a promotion. And we get a bigger bed.
Crime Managers Responsibility crime Crime Managers Responsibility crime , corporate corporate , I'm not blaming you, Lewis. I'm delegating responsibility.
Doctors Health Doctors Health , Professionalism Professionalism , I'm not sure ... what does it look like to you?
Restaurants Restaurants , All You Can Eat Buffet All You Can Eat Buffet , All You Can Eat Buffet NO CAPTION
Marriage Television Marriage Television , remote control remote control , ... now let's see what's on Oprah.
Awareness Effectiveness Television Awareness Effectiveness Television , Channel News Channel News , And this just in: The fire downtown is spreading to other buildings.
Doctors Ethics Responsibility Doctors Ethics Responsibility , Acme School Medicine Acme School Medicine , Give 110% of yourself - but never give them the number of your country club.
Change Innovation Negotiations Change Innovation Negotiations , New York Stock Exchange New York Stock Exchange , I'll trade my bologna for your tuna fish.
Change Effectiveness Health Psychiatry Change Effectiveness Health Psychiatry , Bill Bill , This shock therapy really works!
Animals Change Persistence Animals Change Persistence , fish fish , Give it up. I'm the only one left, and I'm not biting!
Change Recognition Change Recognition , Happy New Year Holidays Happy New Year Holidays , And you thought they didn't care.
Change Managers Productivity Change Managers Productivity , Benefits washroom Benefits washroom , That's it! No more free coffee.
Awareness Change Effectiveness Pets Awareness Change Effectiveness Pets , dog dog , You know, we haven't had much luck since our firehouse dog ran away.
Communications Competency Ethics Communications Competency Ethics , Save the Planet Save the Planet , Geez! I'm all out of disposable paint cans.
Change Innovation Quality Sales Change Innovation Quality Sales , Dung Right Fertilizer Dung Right Fertilizer , It's an all-new environmentally enriched organic food by-product that has revolutionized lawn care!
Change Competency Change Competency , Professionalism teddy bear Professionalism teddy bear , They liked my proposal, but suggested I leave Teddy at home.
Change Crime Change Crime , children children , Remember when kids played hopscotch and traded marbles?
Change Competency Resources Persistence Change Competency Resources Persistence , Human Test Pilots Apply Here Human Test Pilots Apply Here , We're looking for someone with a little less experience.
Animals Awareness Change Effectiveness Quality Animals Awareness Change Effectiveness Quality , Pest Control Pest Control , Face it, Don. We're losers.
Innovation Television Productivity Innovation Television Productivity , , You see, son, this way I can spend more time with you.
Change Negotiations Unions Change Negotiations Unions , Management Management , Well, we worked out the details. Now, if we can just agree on the main points ...
Change Leisure Marriage Change Leisure Marriage , caveman caveman , Wow! A new set of clubs!
Change Death Planning Change Death Planning , Funeral Services Funeral Services , Why yes, we do have something available next Thursday ...
Change Competency Change Competency , , He loves to hear the sound of his own voice.
Productivity Productivity , Holidays beach Holidays beach , The kids want to know what's next on the agenda.
Change Service Marketing Persistence Change Service Marketing Persistence , Fly Nite Courier Fly Nite Courier , I hope business picks up soon. I'm tired of bird seed and pigeon stew.
Change Health Resources Change Health Resources , Human Human , This is our paper cut clinic.
Change Initiative Motivation Persistence Change Initiative Motivation Persistence , jail jail , This is solitary confinement ... the kitchen is two blocks over.
Change Innovation Sales Change Innovation Sales , Cold Beer Cold Beer , We don't get much business, but we always make a profit.
Change Retail Change Retail , Amazon Butchery Amazon Butchery , I hope this doesn't catch on.
Animals Change Pets Training Animals Change Pets Training , dogs dogs , I'm not sure, but I think they want us to pee on this stuff.
Change Evolution Change Evolution , World Fish Cleaners World Fish Cleaners , Quit complaining. Times are hard, and we've got to be versatile.
animals awareness ethics , Flock Wool Products professionalism , Hey, Frank, is that polyester you're wearing?
Awareness Change Managers Philosophy Awareness Change Managers Philosophy , , Remember, Aaron, inside every little problem, there's a bigger one waiting to get out.
Risk Safety Pets Awareness Risk Safety Pets Awareness , Free Salmon Dinner Free Salmon Dinner , C'mon, Felix, aren't you just a little curious?
Change Initiative Innovation Change Initiative Innovation , Stan Twirl Ride Stan Twirl Ride , Bring her down now, Morty. She looks like she's going to hurl.
Animals Change Persistence Teamwork Unions Animals Change Persistence Teamwork Unions , International Snail Union Local 315 International Snail Union Local 315 , This time we strike! Last year's slow-down was a bust.
Animals Change Ethics Farming Psychiatry Animals Change Ethics Farming Psychiatry , bartender bartender , No matter what I say, these farmers won't keep their hands off me.
Change Education Responsibility Change Education Responsibility , Finance Government Finance Government , Hey, only three more months, and my student loan will be paid off.
Change Marketing Sales Change Marketing Sales , Real Estate Real Estate Real Estate Real Estate , ... and this spacious model is close to the water fountain.
Change Sales Change Sales , Snappy Snow Blower Snappy Snow Blower , I guess you're not interested in our lawn mowers either?
Change Resources Training Change Resources Training , Human guns Human guns , Miss Spencer is here for her assertiveness training.
Change Innovation Productivity Quality Technology Change Innovation Productivity Quality Technology , pencil sharpener pencil sharpener , It's more powerful than conventional sharpeners.
Change Persistence Change Persistence , Creativity Discipline art Creativity Discipline art ,
Animals Awareness Change Effectiveness Pets Animals Awareness Change Effectiveness Pets , dogs dogs , Hey, kid, I think your flea collar has expired.
advertising awareness communications planning , lecture , Today's seminar is about advertising and promotion.
Change Competency Service Travel Change Competency Service Travel , boat boat , And it gets worse ... they lost my luggage too!
Animals Change Effectiveness Innovation Technology Animals Change Effectiveness Innovation Technology , Fishfinder Fishfinder , Don't worry, Jimmy. If there's fish in this lake, we'll find them.
Change Education Ethics Lawyers Change Education Ethics Lawyers , Office Office , My client refuses to answer on the grounds that he may incriminate me.
Change Crime Change Crime , Morewood Tree Farm Morewood Tree Farm , We've been robbed!
Change Ethics Change Ethics , axe axe ,
Change Health Marketing Retail Change Health Marketing Retail , Diet Corner Calorie Reduced Diet Corner Calorie Reduced , I don't see why we pay more for fewer calories.
Unemployment Unemployment Ethics , Benefits , Could you send it to me in the Bahamas?
Change Sales Change Sales , For Sale Real Estate For Sale Real Estate , Do you have anything in a pump?
Change Health Change Health , Benefits Hell Benefits Hell , Don't worry about it, kid. This is Hell. You don't have to go outside to smoke.
Change Ethics Insurance Change Ethics Insurance , Car Rental Car Rental , I've changed my mind. I will take the insurance.
Animals Change Miscellaneous Animals Change Miscellaneous , elevator elevator fragrance elevator elevator fragrance , Isn't it odd that we always get an elevator to ourselves?
Change Managers Motivation Persistence Teamwork Change Managers Motivation Persistence Teamwork , cavemen cavemen , Keep blowing, Grog. I don't want to chase lightning bolts all night.
Change Farming Managers Change Farming Managers , Benefits cow Benefits cow , Say, I thought this was a management washroom.
Change Managers Change Managers , Discipline Professionalism Discipline Professionalism , For goodness' sake, Bently, get back to work. It's just a thunderstorm.
Animals Change Animals Change , dating dating , Things have changed since I was a pup. You can't just sniff and mate anymore.
leisure , Drinks Compliments Cheapo benefits plannning , The boss thought people would drink less if we had the company picnic in February.
Change Resources Technology Unemployment Change Resources Technology Unemployment , Human dummy Human dummy , I'm now fully automated with micro computer chips. So, you're fired!
Awareness Change Death Awareness Change Death , execution execution , Last cigarette? They told me this was a taste test!
ethics resources , aliens human manufacturing , Alien workers? Absolutely not! They're, uhh, relatives visiting from Chicago.
Animals Change Motivation Unemployment Animals Change Motivation Unemployment , Bar Bar , I know, I know ... when you get the hoof, you have to grab the bull by the horns.
Change Reliability Responsibility Change Reliability Responsibility , frankenstein frankenstein , It's always something ... mittens, boots, hats. I'm telling you, you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!
Animals Change Animals Change , Discipline Professionalism turtle Discipline Professionalism turtle , What did you expect? You hired a turtle!
Change Competency Leisure Teamwork Change Competency Leisure Teamwork , camera camera , Uh-oh, I had the lens cap on.
education resources recruitment education resources recruitment , The Clown Employment Agency human The Clown Employment Agency human , Sorry, guys, we hire only college graduates.
Change Managers Responsibility Salary Change Managers Responsibility Salary , , ... so, we agree on salary cuts for everyone except the members of this committee.
Competency Reliability , Kramer Mapmaking , There's Mr. Kramer lost in the parking lot again.
effectiveness productivity stress , Powers discipline , Sullivan, I won't tolerate any more job stress around here!
Animals Change Politics Recognition Animals Change Politics Recognition , dogs dogs , I heard she had an affair with the Kennedys' dog.
Animals Change Crime Risk Animals Change Crime Risk , cows cows , Then, I said, 'Why go to a big city when everything we need is right here in the pasture?' But, nooo ....
Animals Change Restaurants Safety Animals Change Restaurants Safety , Frog Medical Center Frog Medical Center , Trust me, kid. Stay away from French restaurants.
Change Salary Change Salary , high heeled shoes high heeled shoes , This is my boss's idea of a raise.
Change Effectiveness Teamwork Change Effectiveness Teamwork , Acme Garbage Acme Garbage , Next time we cruise for babes, we'll take my car.
Change Marriage Motivation Change Marriage Motivation , Professionalism children Professionalism children , Wave goodbye, kids. We're the reason your mother goes to work every day.
Advertising Change Death Marketing Advertising Change Death Marketing , Creativity Free Movie and Pizza with every Burial Professionalism Creativity Free Movie and Pizza with every Burial Professionalism , You said we should be more competitive.
Animals Change Farming Innovation Animals Change Farming Innovation , barn barn , It's a worker exchange program. The old guy is grazing in the back 40.
Change Safety Change Safety , Discipline accident Discipline accident , We've had a few complaints, Gabe, that you've been flying through clouds without signaling.
animals effectiveness leisure , boat , I'm telling ya, Dave ... the bigger the bait, the bigger the fish.
Advertising Change Advertising Change , fish fish , My card.
Change Managers Change Managers , Conflict Professionalism chainsaw Conflict Professionalism chainsaw , Uh, not you, Bob ... I meant other people can't take criticism.
Change Managers Change Managers , Discipline Professionalism climber Discipline Professionalism climber , You're Late NO CAPTION
Change Education Initiative Science Change Education Initiative Science , Fossils Bones Tommy Fossils Bones Tommy , Let's put a little more effort into this, Tommy.
Change Construction Effectiveness Quality Change Construction Effectiveness Quality , cliff cliff , Construction Ends NO CAPTION
Change Marketing Reliability Safety Change Marketing Reliability Safety , Ian Ian , If your house burns down, we'll replace the defective unit absolutely free!
Change Death Restaurants Service Change Death Restaurants Service , Lunch Special Lunch Special , I just wanted a little soup, and maybe a roll.
Change Recruitment Technology Change Recruitment Technology , army army , Say, fellas, how would you like to join the Air Force?
Change Evolution Innovation Change Evolution Innovation , Benefits eskimo Benefits eskimo , I think it's great that you can work at home.
Change Quality Restaurants Change Quality Restaurants , , Today's Special Things I've Found Under My Couch NO CAPTION
Change Restaurants Safety Service Change Restaurants Safety Service , Pick Your Own Lobster only Pick Your Own Lobster only , Remember, Warren, the big ones don't taste as good.
Competency Unemployment Competency Unemployment , , Things aren't working out, Edwards. Have you considered a job with our competition?
Change Psychiatry Stress Change Psychiatry Stress , armour armour , I don't get it, Doc. Ever since I started this job, I've had an overwhelming fear of can openers.
Change Marketing Planning Sales Change Marketing Planning Sales , All Watches Price All Watches Price , World Ends Next Week! All Watches 1/2 Price NO CAPTION
Competency Productivity Unemployment Competency Productivity Unemployment , Fired Fired , Why me? I didn't do anything.
Animals Lawyers Animals Lawyers , Professionalism Taxidermist Professionalism Taxidermist , I'm sorry, we don't stuff lawyers here.
Death Managers Death Managers , devil devil , If you want to survive down here, kid, you'll have to change that attitude.
Effectiveness Safety Effectiveness Safety , Airmail Express Airmail Express , Stop complaining. You're going first class.
Health Productivity Health Productivity , coffee coffee , I'm not really awake until I've had 32 cups of coffee.
Death Death , Discipline hell Discipline hell , I'm the guy who invented the chain letter.
Retail Service , Chargex , Hey, Phil, do we take cash?
Quality Restaurants Service Quality Restaurants Service , waitress waitress , ... and for dessert, I personally recommend the chocolate brownies.
Negotiations Sales Negotiations Sales , , I'll tell ya what ... buy the sound system and we'll throw in a roadie.
Quality Restaurants Service Quality Restaurants Service , fishing rod fishing rod , The trout's fresh.
Effectiveness Persistence Effectiveness Persistence , Brewery Brewery , Give it up, Frank. I don't think you'll ever find your contact lens.
Dentistry Dentistry , Professionalism dentist Professionalism dentist , There are two ways to do this ... Do you have a dental plan?
Absenteeism Animals Initiative Absenteeism Animals Initiative , City Aquarium City Aquarium , Hurry, before they know we're missing.
Responsibility Safety Responsibility Safety , eskimos eskimos , I told you not to leave the space heater on all night.
Teamwork Teamwork , Conflict Creativity fighting Conflict Creativity fighting , It's part of the creative process.
effectiveness leadership , , Feel free to come forward and honestly tell me what I want to hear.
Lawyers Negotiations Lawyers Negotiations , window ledge window ledge , He's right. The law says we have to negotiate in good faith.
animals health pets , dog , NO CAPTION
Quality Service Quality Service , VIP Desk VIP Desk , So, what makes you so damn special?
Death Resources Recruitment Death Resources Recruitment , Human Human , Quick, somebody hire a temp.
Courtesy Innovation Courtesy Innovation , Professionalism hot dog Professionalism hot dog , You know, there's a cafeteria downstairs.
, Conflict Professionalism saw Conflict Professionalism saw , I guess this ends our roundtable discussion.
Communications Competency Motivation Communications Competency Motivation , , What d'ya suppose it means?
Crime Resources Crime Resources , Finance Human mugger Finance Human mugger , Say, we're looking for someone with your skills in our collections department.
Doctors Innovation Doctors Innovation , Optometrist Optometrist , It will help you read between the lines.
Safety construction Safety construction , Holidays Professionalism Holidays Professionalism , April Fools NO CAPTION
Animals Planning Teamwork Animals Planning Teamwork , aquarium aquarium , Okay, we're out. Now what?
Education Training Education Training , Daily Daily , Trust me, kid, you don't get this kind of experience in journalism school.
change innovation , children , Bobby, here, has some interesting ideas about simplifying requisitions for toys.
Absenteeism Planning Reliability Absenteeism Planning Reliability , , Time Management Seminar 10:00-Cancelled 10:15-Postponed 10:30-Re-Scheduled 10:45-Can't Make it 10:55-Something Came Up 11:00-I'll Call You. NO CAPTION
, ,
Dentistry Dentistry , alligator alligator , Has it been six months already?
Absenteeism Stress Stress Absenteeism Stress Stress , Management Management , ... now let's see how you react to scenes of your employees leaving early.
Responsibility Responsibility , Finance children Finance children , Scotty, here, says you're three weeks behind on his allowance.
Technology Change , caveman , Alan is a little resistant to new technology.
Insurance Planning Insurance Planning , fire fire , I need fire insurance, quick!
Courtesy Courtesy , false teeth false teeth , Gesundheit.
effectiveness innovation technology , Hearing Aid Research , Frankly, Milner, I think it's a step backward.
Banks Banks , Business Loans Finance Business Loans Finance , I need another $50.
Crime Lawyers Crime Lawyers , Bankruptcy Court Bankruptcy Court , You can't plead insanity.
Safety Technology Safety Technology , computer computer , Geez, I hope you're wearing rubber shoes.
Animals Initiative Animals Initiative , Metro Zoo Metro Zoo , Out For Lunch NO CAPTION
Entertainment Planning Quality Entertainment Planning Quality , Movie Rentals Movie Rentals , All I have left are videos of my kids at the beach.
Technology Television Technology Television , Carvell Repair Carvell Repair , You don't see many of these old wood-burning models anymore.
innovation service , painter , Is there anything you don't want white?
Marketing Marketing , Professionalism roller blade Professionalism roller blade , I'm not sure - maybe this is his analysis of the west coast market.
Persistence Sales Persistence Sales , Sale Sale , The average sale occurs after the customer says no six times.
Competency Teamwork Competency Teamwork , armored car armored car , I thought you had the keys.
Health Service Health Service , , Emergency Take a Number NO CAPTION
Doctors Health Doctors Health , patient patient , According to our tests, you've got rigor mortis.
Quality Travel Quality Travel , Prehistoric Air Prehistoric Air , I hate these stop-overs.
lawyers , court professionalism , What harassment?! I'm a wolf ... that's what I do!
ethics quality service , Specializing Foreign Domestic Cars , If you specialize, you can charge more.
Persistence Television Persistence Television , fishing fishing , Now see if you can catch the remote control.
Accounting Accounting , Auditor Holidays Auditor Holidays , You gave away 60 billion toys and didn't get one receipt?!
Service Technology Service Technology , Alarm Clock Repair Alarm Clock Repair , Funny how it breaks every morning at 7:15.
Accounting Accounting , Finance hostage Finance hostage , Yes, sir, I believe we have our costs under control.
Competency Doctors Competency Doctors , doctor doctor , Don't bother to thank me, I needed the practice.
Entertainment Entertainment , Talent Agency Creativity Talent Agency Creativity , I just don't want to be type-cast.
Bureaucracy Bureaucracy , Finance Government beach Finance Government beach , Faulkner, here, got a government grant to study the effects of UV rays.
Absenteeism Leisure Marketing Absenteeism Leisure Marketing , golf golf , Your 10:00 marketing meeting was rained out.
, Economy Finance Proftis Economy Finance Proftis , It looks much worse when you see the big picture.
Health Health , Benefits galley Benefits galley , They said it was a health club.
, Benefits Holidays desk Benefits Holidays desk , At Hogwell Industries, every employee is entitled to three weeks' paid vacation.
Teamwork Teamwork , Personnel Personnel , We've had a few complaints that you're not a team player.
Entertainment Quality Entertainment Quality , comedian comedian , There's nothing worse than bad imitation crab.
Lawyers death Lawyers death , sentence sentence , Sure I have a last request ... fire my lawyer!
, Creativity art , Say, what exactly is an 'impressionist,' anyway?
Effectiveness Innovation Effectiveness Innovation , Creativity Magic Incorporated Creativity Magic Incorporated , Great idea! Why didn't anyone think of this before?
Advertising Animals Farming Innovation Advertising Animals Farming Innovation , Eat Diamond Eat Diamond , Nowadays, you can't make ends meet by just farming.
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous , Ace Snake Oil Ace Snake Oil , I quit. You guys give me the willies.
Initiative Technology Initiative Technology , Fish Finder Fish Finder , I use it to find girls.
Doctors Health Doctors Health , Prescriptions Prescriptions , Your doctor wants you to apply soap and water, three times daily.
animals entertainment farming , Bingo Tonite , It's the only way I can get them into the barn.
Psychiatry Psychiatry , Offenloser Psychiatrist Offenloser Psychiatrist , Well, at least you got over your fear of heights.
Communications Resources Sales Communications Resources Sales , Human language barrier Human language barrier , Carlos, here, is our foreign sales agent. ... At least, I think he is. I can't understand a word he says.
Safety Safety , BBQ Manual BBQ Manual , Do not light barbecue before reading page six.
Ethics doctors Ethics doctors , , Pull that flap down a bit more - I almost have his credit card.
Resources Productivity Resources Productivity , Human Human , It's just a performance review. You can't hide here forever.
Education Education , Discipline Years Detention Years Detention teacher Discipline Years Detention Years Detention teacher , Okay, Eddie, you can go home now.
Technology Technology , computer computer , It must have been a power surge.
Leadership Persistence Leadership Persistence , denial denial , I will not resign. I will not resign. I will not ...
marriage travel , Venice finance , It would be more romantic if it was tax-deductible.
Innovation Innovation , New Skid Soap New Skid Soap , I got the idea this morning in the shower.
Competency Doctors Competency Doctors , broken leg broken leg , That's Dr. Idiot to you!
Marriage Persistence Marriage Persistence , crystal ball crystal ball , You will find happiness with your fifth wife.
, End Rainbow Finance , Pot of gold? Heck, no, we sold those shares in '87 to diversify our portfolio.
Animals Initiative Pets Animals Initiative Pets , Creativity decoy Creativity decoy , Don't see your dog around, Mr. Morriscey. Guess I put a scare into him yesterday.
Awareness Miscellaneous Awareness Miscellaneous , fish fish , I told you not to drink so much.
Maintenance Technology Maintenance Technology , electricity electricity , Hello, Scotty? Give me all the power you've got!
Advertising Science Advertising Science , astronomy astronomy , There ... just between the Big Dipper and the Pepsi ad.
animals farming recognition , Butcher Shop , ... then I told the old guy that I've been milked long enough and it's time for a promotion.
Ethics Insurance Insurance Ethics Insurance Insurance , Yonge Yonge , What's to know? Give 'em a lullaby, some formula, and before you know it - you've got a footprint on the bottom line!
Miscellaneous Animals , bird , Whatever you do - don't open your mouth.
Competency Resources Recruitment Competency Resources Recruitment , Human Job Interviews Human Job Interviews , I'll take the Fifth - my work history may incriminate me.
Death Competency , Discipline Madame Loopy Seances , Get Stevens back here - he bungled the Crawley account!
Persistence Persistence , Economy Finance investing Economy Finance investing , Don't sell your shares yet, Harry ... pet rocks are a long term-investment.
Technology Technology , Holidays christmas Holidays christmas , Toys Batteries NO CAPTION
Persistence Responsibility Persistence Responsibility , Professionalism Top Secret Professionalism Top Secret , No need to worry, Ms. Harris, we fixed the leak.
Salary Salary , Benefits Holidays Personnel Benefits Holidays Personnel , It's your Christmas bonus.
Motivation Sales Motivation Sales , charity charity , People don't care about that stuff anymore. If you want their attention, you've got to scare them.
Competency Quality animals Competency Quality animals , , My interior decorator is also a taxidermist.
Entertainment , christmas , I don't mind working at home ... but office parties are a drag.
Leisure Leisure , fish fish , And I caught this school off the coast near Vancouver.
Innovation Innovation , artist artist , self-protrait NO CAPTION
Animals Effectiveness Marketing Animals Effectiveness Marketing , Doggy Chow Doggy Chow , So, Byron, tell us how well the product is testing.
Resources Persistence Resources Persistence , Human Out Human Out , Let me assure you, Mr. Levitz, finding a job for your son is on the top of my agenda.
Productivity Training Productivity Training , robots robots , I don't think our employees should be training these robots.
Retail Retail , guns guns , Oh, you want the gun shop on the second floor - this is the toy department.
Animals Entertainment Animals Entertainment , acting acting , Summer Stock.
Ethics Lawyers Ethics Lawyers , Binkman Law Office Binkman Law Office , It's clearly a conflict of interest. I strongly suggest you don't accept any more milk and cookies.
Marketing Sales Marketing Sales , Sand Sand , For an extra $10, we'll apply our new patented, non-skid, industrial-strength, wind-resistant coating.
Ethics Initiative Recruitment Ethics Initiative Recruitment , Affirmitive Action Affirmitive Action , Hey, wait a minute ... only a man would wear green pumps with a blue chiffon dress!
Animals Farming Animals Farming , farm farm , It could be worse ... Harvey's getting a perm.
, Holidays christmas Holidays christmas , I hate Christmas. All this smiling makes my face hurt.
Crime Effectiveness Crime Effectiveness , police police , Sorry, Earl, but that's all the budget allows for our witness protection program.
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , And for the last five years, I worked at the Windmore Fan Company.
Safety Unions Safety Unions , Manual Manual , Unfortunately, the health and safety committee doesn't meet until next Friday.
Communications Communications , Professionalism gossip Professionalism gossip , Okay, but don't tell anyone ... you know how rumors get started.
Lawyers , Professionalism court , Would the jury foreman kindly refrain from starting another wave?
Innovation Innovation , garbage can security garbage can security , You can take it off when we're through the restricted area.
Negotiations Unions Negotiations Unions , Get Slim Get Slim , Okay, fellas, I have a counter-offer ...
Change Health Change Health , Big Man Clothing Company Big Man Clothing Company , I don't want to mention any names, but one of us is on a diet!
Competency Safety Competency Safety , accident accident , Hey, didn't you see me signal?
courtesy service , heating , Okay, you made your point with the heating company, now call back and apologize.
Crime Retail Service Crime Retail Service , Express Lane Express Lane , Paper or plastic bags?
Crime Ethics Crime Ethics , Finance computer Finance computer , If at first you don't succeed, embezzle.
Persistence Sales Persistence Sales , Big Used Cars Big Used Cars , Listen to your customers, Greenham. But don't take 'no' for an answer.
Motivation Negotiations Unions Motivation Negotiations Unions , ants ants , If we were unionized, we wouldn't have to settle for crumbs.
Innovation Managers Miscellaneous Innovation Managers Miscellaneous , , It's called 'behavior modification' ... we can now give you instant feedback every time you make a mistake.
Animals Politics Animals Politics , affirmative action bartender affirmative action bartender , I've always been fair-minded, but this animal rights thing has gone too far.
marriage training , Berts Carpentry , I think you're taking this apprenticeship thing too far!
Animals Resources Recruitment Animals Resources Recruitment , Human Local Farmer Increases Production Human Local Farmer Increases Production , Say, here's a place that might be hiring.
Animals Insurance Risk Animals Insurance Risk , Bull China Shop Bull China Shop , I'm sure it won't be a problem ... you fellas look like a good risk to me.
Accounting Resources Recruitment Accounting Resources Recruitment , Finance Human Finance Human , It says here, your other interests include cash, stocks, bonds and adding machines.
animals farming managers , cow , I don't try to understand 'em, I just milk 'em.
Effectiveness Health Service Effectiveness Health Service , hospital hospital , We don't give sponge baths anymore. It's not time efficient.
Resources Resources , Human Human , Clearance C.E.O. President No Reasonable Offer Refused NO CAPTION
Awareness Resources Managers Awareness Resources Managers , Human Suggestion Box Human Suggestion Box , Of course we listen to employees, Spriggs, but you shouldn't take this stuff seriously.
Animals Animals , Conflict Discipline bartender Conflict Discipline bartender , You folks settle your differences on the range. In here, we all drink from the same trough.
, Conflict Discipline Stop Conflict Discipline Stop , It seems you have a problem with authority figures.
Effectiveness Innovation Effectiveness Innovation , , How much is it to fly nonstop?
Persistence Safety Persistence Safety , Real Estate shock therapy Real Estate shock therapy , We've had a few drive-bys, but no serious offers.
Resources Persistence Resources Persistence , Human closet Human closet , How long have you been on the surplus list?
Competency Unions Competency Unions , Down With Management Down With Management , It appears you misunderstood me when I asked you to organize this department.
Ethics Responsibility Ethics Responsibility , chainsaw chainsaw , We try to save something for the environment.
Awareness Pets Awareness Pets , aquarium aquarium , Will somebody turn down the damn air conditioner?!
innovation technology , Sale , It's a diet fridge ... It won't open until you lose 40 pounds.
Animals Technology Television Animals Technology Television , kangaroos kangaroos , Wow! When did you get cable?
Ethics Sales Ethics Sales , Microwave Price Microwave Price , C'mon, don't believe everything you see ... the door on this model was just for decoration.
Leadership , Executive Masks , I need one that shows leadership and authority.
Marketing Risk Sales Marketing Risk Sales , Grand Opening Grand Opening ,
Construction Initiative Construction Initiative , bird house cartoons bird house cartoons , Some of the guys in the flock think you're showing off.
Resources Persistence Resources Persistence , Days Without Bath Human Days Without Bath Human , Funny thing, Dalton - your request for a transfer suddenly came through.
animals farming planning , bed , Put this on your 'To Do List' - build a barn!
Managers Miscellaneous Managers Miscellaneous , head head , I need this assignment like I need a hole in my head.
Animals Entertainment , camera , Okay, but make it fast. I'm expected on the set with Jacques Cousteau.
Effectiveness Technology , Hardware , My smoke detector needs new batteries.
recruitment religion , Express Elevator , C'mon, there's nothing up here except vegetarians, environmentalists and other do-gooders.
Service Travel Service Travel , airplane airplane , May I see your boarding pass?
Competency Retail Sales Competency Retail Sales , , 1001 Sales Tips NO CAPTION
Training Training , cavemen cavemen , Trainees.
Sales Quality Sales Sales Quality Sales , Auto Auto ,
Health Health , cigarette cigarette , Yeah, but I'm down to one pack a day.
Resources Managers Resources Managers , Human Personnel Human Personnel , Well, frankly ... it's your attitude.
Safety Safety , air bag air bag , Next time, let's get a car with a passenger-side air bag.
Technology Technology , bomb bomb , Geez, I've never seen a computer bomb like that!
Persistence Initiative , jeep , I mailed home an army jeep piece by piece. Did you bring back anything?
Health Health , Benefits smokers Benefits smokers , Uh, no, that's the employees' smoking lounge.
Courtesy Courtesy , galley galley , You know, just once I wish he'd say please.
Banks Crime Banks Crime , bank bank , Put the money in the bag, or the kid starts playing.
Marketing Travel Marketing Travel , Hell Hell , I don't see why it's a bust - we have everything cruise ships have to offer.
Productivity Animals , chickens , They work in tiny little cubicles, and if they don't produce they get the ax!
Lawyers Lawyers , bird bird , I know it's a parrot - but he's the only witness who hasn't sold his story to Hard Copy.
Crime Politics Crime Politics , gun gun , I just wanted you to sign this petition against gun control.
Technology Innovation Effectiveness , cart , I got one with A.B.S. brakes!
Animals Farming Animals Farming , Holidays November Thanksgiving Holidays November Thanksgiving , Trust me, kid. Keep your mouth shut and let them sleep in.
Animals Entertainment Animals Entertainment , antarctic antarctic , Geez, Thomas, don't you have anything but ice beer?
Training Training , Driving School Driving School , What about the rest of my lesson?!
Restaurants Service Restaurants Service , Chez Noodle Chez Noodle , We'd like a table near a waiter.
Crime , car , Hey, somebody stole my parking space!
Salary Unemployment death Salary Unemployment death , penalty penalty , Never ask about the severance pay.
Animals Ethics Farming Animals Ethics Farming , Pure Beef Hamburgers Pure Beef Hamburgers , What conflict of interest?! I work here in my spare time.
Competency Doctors Competency Doctors , doctor doctor , Geez, Franklin, don't tell me you lost another one.
Bureaucracy Bureaucracy , Everyone Else Everyone Else , The first organization chart.
Crime Service Crime Service , muggers muggers , And would you say our service was courteous and friendly?
Animals Productivity Psychiatry Animals Productivity Psychiatry , analysis analysis , No matter what I do, I still only produce 2%.
Crime Crime , copyright theft copyright theft , Trust me - just tell the boys it was a felony but don't mention the part about the F.B.I. and video taping 'Gone With The Wind.'
Animals Philosophy Animals Philosophy , binoculars binoculars , Hey, fellas, the grass does look greener on the other side.
Effectiveness Health Effectiveness Health , Employee Fitness Center Employee Fitness Center , Pedal faster, Millwood - the lights are dimming.
Animals Farming Animals Farming , cow cow , Say, Frank, isn't that your cow that's wandered on the road?
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous , Taxi Taxi , Wow, this has to be some sort of record - a full day's shift and not one weirdo!
Animals Television Animals Television , Rod Reel Rod Reel , They've got to do something about all this violence on TV.
Courtesy Safety Courtesy Safety , accident accident , He dashed out of cubicle four without signaling!
Managers Managers , Potter Potter , He's been taking a crisis management course.
Communications Communications , arrow arrow , There's no message attached to this one, Sir.
Animals Maintenance , gun , ... on second thought, we don't really need an exterminator here.
Crime Retail Crime Retail , cement shoes cement shoes , We'll take 'em.
Quality Quality , gun gun , ... commitment to quality ... commitment to quality ...
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous , clock clock , So, what's it like working out of your home?
Stress Stress , violence violence , -Call Accountant -Meet Sales Team -FREAK OUT -Go To Lunch NO CAPTION
Animals Farming Unions Animals Farming Unions , farm farm , OK, who's handing out the union fliers?
Doctors Doctors , hospital hospital , It's a simple operation, but we prefer payment in advance.
Entertainment Entertainment , children children , I thought you said you had a home theater system.
Change Change Psychiatry Change Change Psychiatry , Drive Thru Analysis Depression Personality Drive Thru Analysis Depression Personality Eating Disorders Hypnosis Extra Drive Thru Analysis Depression Personality Drive Thru Analysis Depression Personality Eating Disorders Hypnosis Extra , Murry's Drive Thru Analysis Depression $49 Personality Change $90 Eating Disorders $28 Hypnosis Extra NO CAPTION
Religion Salary Religion Salary , Seminary School Registration Seminary School Registration , I assume we get time-and-a-half for working Sundays.
Animals Farming Animals Farming , Suggestion Box Suggestion Box , I still don't think he'll give us business cards.
Leisure Sports Stress Leisure Sports Stress , golf golf , Maybe you should find another activity to help you unwind.
Animals Pets Psychiatry Animals Pets Psychiatry , Pavlov Pavlov , ... and, I hear bells every time I eat.
Negotiations Unions Negotiations Unions , Respect Respect , See if they'll settle for acknowledgement.
Miscellaneous Safety Miscellaneous Safety , guns guns , If pigs could fly ...
Philosophy Service Philosophy Service , advice advice , Okay, for the last time - waiters get 15%, bellmen get a dollar per bag ...
Health Travel Health Travel , Tour Guide Tour Guide , It says here, you should be drinking bottled water.
Ethics Ethics , Out Business Made Enough Money Out Business Made Enough Money , Why socially conscious businesses never last.
Courtesy Courtesy , , If that really was a whoopee cushion, let's see it.
Effectiveness Technology Effectiveness Technology , Gate Gate , Microwave is more efficient.
Safety , Real Estate fire , We were having a mortgage burning party ...
Leisure Sports Leisure Sports , freeway golf freeway golf , This explains the low membership fees.
Insurance advertising leisure , This Sunrise Brought You Acme , Wow, I've finally escaped the commercial trappings of the city.
Evolution Evolution , beavers beavers , I don't like it either, but we've got to evolve as a species.
Sales Sales , Acme Signs Acme Signs , It sort of sells itself - doesn't it?
Negotiations Pets , binoculars , He wants a large screen TV.
Competency Competency , , You Should Be Here NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Managers Effectiveness Managers , , I'll never understand why the largest desks have the least amount of paperwork on them.
Unions Negotiations , Pink , I still think they're bluffing.
Accounting Crime Lawyers Accounting Crime Lawyers , court court , My client has left for Brazil on urgent business, but promises to return soon to clear his name.
, Discipline dungeon Discipline dungeon , Suspended with pay ... how about you?
Lawyers Lawyers , Patents Trademarks Patents Trademarks , I want to protect my intellectual property.
Communications Religion Communications Religion , monastery monastery , Yeoow NO CAPTION
Maintenance Service Maintenance Service , Plumbing Plumbing , ... and how much do they have in their pension plan?
Communications Communications , puppets puppets , He tends to over-simplify.
Animals Doctors Health Animals Doctors Health , gun gun , It doesn't look good.
, For Sale Real Estate For Sale Real Estate , Location is everything.
Reliability Sales Reliability Sales , Shady Office Equipment Shady Office Equipment , Sure, we guarantee our products ... but we need cash up front.
, Old Club Professionalism Old Club Professionalism , Say, let's give Henderson a wedgie.
Competency Doctors Competency Doctors , hospital hospital , OK, nobody panic. Nurse, hand me a scalpel, a really long spoon and some chocolate sprinkles.
Lawyers Lawyers , sentence sentence , I think you presented my case well ... particularly all that stuff about fair and equal treatment.
Competency Maintenance Competency Maintenance , How How , Maybe the bookstore will refund your money.
Risk Unions Risk Unions , Ban the Ban the , You know, this could cost us our jobs.
Lawyers Lawyers , fish fish , As your lawyer, I must insist that you avoid any action that may prevent you from paying your legal bills.
Health Effectiveness , acupuncture , That's remarkable, sir ... and your arthritis is cured too?
Managers Managers , scientist scientist , To his horror, Dr. Jekyll realizes he has turned himself into a manager.
Animals Innovation Responsibility Animals Innovation Responsibility , farm farm , Bill collectors - it throws them off the scent.
Lawyers Lawyers , Real Estate Real Estate , Damn lawyers.
Quality Restaurants Quality Restaurants , , Special Fillet of Sole NO CAPTION
Lawyers Lawyers , court court , Geez, I hate tax law.
Restaurants , Cheeseburger , You wanna try our fries?
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human Post Office Human Post Office , I'm here to apply for the job.
Effectiveness Innovation Technology , Home Security Systems , This is our least expensive model.
Resources Resources , Human Professionalism executioner Human Professionalism executioner , Meet our new Director of Personnel.
Science Technology Entertainment , clown school , Think of it Chuckles ... the moon!
Change Health Innovation Change Health Innovation , Prescription Drugs Prescription Drugs , It has time-released pain-killers, so you'll never have another headache.
Animals Change Lawyers Leadership Animals Change Lawyers Leadership , sheep sheep , The problem with you sheep is that you don't know when to trust your lawyer.
Change Risk construction Change Risk construction , , Sure, I'd like to start my own business ... but, frankly, I think it's too risky.
Change Service Change Service , , Complaints Department Over 64893 Served NO CAPTION
Animals Change Courtesy Ethics Responsibility Animals Change Courtesy Ethics Responsibility , Eat Eat , The first practical joke.
Change Technology Change Technology , computer computer , Actually, this is the first time I've used a computer dating service.
Change Marketing Quality Change Marketing Quality , Creativity Diet Beer Creativity Diet Beer , Diet Beer $2.50 NO CAPTION
Change Innovation Unions Change Innovation Unions , Union Rep Union Rep , It works like a scarecrow, but it keeps managers away.
Change Education Change Education , Monopoly 101 Monopoly 101 , Of course, in the real world, there's no such thing as free parking.
Change Managers Recognition Unemployment Change Managers Recognition Unemployment , Farewell Farewell , And this slightly used paper clip is a token of our appreciation.
Awareness Change Technology Awareness Change Technology , security security , Watch what you say - this room may be bugged.
Courtesy , Help , SAY PLEASE NO CAPTION
Change Pets Recognition Change Pets Recognition , dog dog , You don't really know a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes.
Safety , Binko Explosives , All those in favor of a no-smoking policy ...
Change Motivation Responsibility Change Motivation Responsibility , ladder ladder , ... then he asked if I was ready to climb the corporate ladder.
Change Retail Sales Change Retail Sales , Bath Supplies Bath Supplies , It's time to make a decision, Mr. Fryer. We're closing in five minutes.
Change Competency Managers Change Competency Managers , , Manager 1st Asst. Manager 2nd Asst. Manager Mail Room Clerk
Change Effectiveness Change Effectiveness , Arntwell Furniture Manufacturing Arntwell Furniture Manufacturing , Then it's agreed ... there's no room for further cuts in production.
Change Effectiveness Technology Change Effectiveness Technology , Stamp Licker Stamp Licker , It's only until the postage meter is repaired.
Change Competency Responsibility Change Competency Responsibility , computer games computer games , He's not our best worker, but nobody can beat him at Galaxon.
Change Resources Unemployment Change Resources Unemployment , Human Fired Human Fired , I'm not worried ... that little weasel doesn't have the guts to fire me!
Animals Change Initiative Philosophy Animals Change Initiative Philosophy , cows cows , Herd Free Thinkers NO CAPTION
Change Evolution Planning Change Evolution Planning , Belton Iron Works and Fried Chicken Belton Iron Works and Fried Chicken , I think it's time we reviewed our corporate strategy.
Change Responsibility Retail Change Responsibility Retail , Stereo Stereo , Our warranty covers everything except parts and labor.
Change Initiative Change Initiative , Government cave Government cave , I just invented the power company. Here's my bill.
Change Innovation Marketing Change Innovation Marketing , Stench Protection Stench Protection , It's a market opportunity that also solves our chemical waste problem.
Change Communications Persistence Change Communications Persistence , accident accident , You obviously misunderstood. In any case, how long were you able to keep it to the grindstone?
Unemployment Resources Safety , Human , Wow! Fifty bucks just to tell some guy he's fired?
Change Sales Technology sales Change Sales Technology sales , man man , Our video montoring system lets you avoid annoying sales calls!
Entertainment Marriage , bathroom , I don't care how good it sounds - I'm not recording your act in the shower!
Change Philosophy Change Philosophy , labor labor , Why do people who work sitting down make more money than those standing up?
Absenteeism Change Leisure Responsibility Absenteeism Change Leisure Responsibility , Gone Work Gone Work , Gone To Work NO CAPTION
Change Competency Recognition Change Competency Recognition , , We value underlings like you, Grimsby, because they know their place.
Change Competency Quality Change Competency Quality , 1994 Holidays 1994 Holidays , Thanks to Finstead here - Christmas will now be on June 8th.
Banks Change Banks Change , Professionalism Professionalism , It's very pretty, but I was hoping you would take my loan application more seriously.
Change Education Change Education , Career Day Career Day , My dad is a lecherer at the University.
Awareness Change Lawyers Awareness Change Lawyers , Professionalism contract Professionalism contract , What small print? All our fees are clearly stated in this contract.
Change Doctors Health Psychiatry Change Doctors Health Psychiatry , padding padding , Well, Doc, today you're supposed to tell me what my problem is.
Advertising Change Advertising Change , cavemen cavemen , Reward Missing Link NO CAPTION
Accounting Change Recognition Recruitment Accounting Change Recognition Recruitment , Resume Resume , Geez, I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for accounting.
Change Innovation Reliability Service Change Innovation Reliability Service , Library Library , No excuses. It's overdue ... now, hand over the coconuts!
Change Safety Teamwork Technology Change Safety Teamwork Technology , detector detector , Okay, dig here ... I think we found another quarter.
Change Competency Stress Change Competency Stress , dummy dummy , When I told him we missed the deadline, he became unglued.
Change Marketing Persistence Sales Change Marketing Persistence Sales , gas pump gas pump , Just two more gallons and we get a free set of steak knives.
Maintenance Crime Crime , Organized Unit , That's right ... last night someone broke in, put away files and emptied the garbage!
Insurance , lifeboat , Let me take another look at that life insurance policy.
Change Persistence Change Persistence , Fake Vomit Novelty Manufacturing Fake Vomit Novelty Manufacturing , After 25 years, this stuff still cracks me up.
Change Technology Change Technology , Creativity cubicle Creativity cubicle , I've always wanted an office with a view.
Change Technology Change Technology , computer computer , This high-performance computer has only one crucial flaw ...
Change Communications Education Effectiveness Change Communications Education Effectiveness , flags flags , Where did you say you got your communications degree?
Change Technology Change Technology , Professionalism joke Professionalism joke , Well, all right ... if you think it's art.
Change Maintenance Change Maintenance , Furniture Repair Furniture Repair , Honey, do we have any elbow grease?
Change Resources Productivity Change Resources Productivity , Human maze Human maze , This floor plan is favored by 96% of the labaratory rats tested.
Change Responsibility Service Change Responsibility Service , Dancing Morandas Dancing Morandas , Well, we found your suitcase. And is our face red.
Change Resources Change Resources , Human Human , Sorry, Brimswell, you've been traded to Accounting for three calculators and a fax machine.
Change Innovation Restaurants Change Innovation Restaurants , cannibal cannibal , You know, with some lemon and a few peppers, we could be quite delicious.
Quality Restaurants , Specials Fender Stew Bumper Burger Grilled Pigeon Black Top Pate , I got the idea driving home last night.
Competency Planning , Astronauts , I thought you had the keys?!
Banks Change Crime Banks Change Crime , Teller Teller , Do you have an account with us?
Maintenance Banks Change Service Technology Maintenance Banks Change Service Technology , Amco Amco , Don't chat with the customers - it scares them.
Change Death Change Death , cemetary cemetary , I Don't Deserve This. NO CAPTION
Change Productivity Technology Change Productivity Technology , automation automation , I'm telling you, Grimsby, technology is changing the way people work.
Change Philosophy Restaurants Change Philosophy Restaurants , diner diner , -Meaning of Life $2.95 -Why We Are Here $4.95 -The Whole Enchilada $7.99 NO CAPTION
Change Death Death Insurance Change Death Death Insurance , Benefits Benefits , I can assure you, we've never had a complaint.
Change Crime Change Crime , cell cell , No matter how cold it is outside, never go into a liquor store wearing a ski mask.
Unemployment , Florist , Hey, Mom, Dad's been fired again!
Change Psychiatry Television Change Psychiatry Television , ledge ledge , But you'll miss 'Seinfeld' tonight!
Effectiveness , car , Snow-ploughing NO CAPTION
Animals Change Resources Animals Change Resources , Human Human , One extra large guy, no onions.
Change Unemployment Change Unemployment , Lay Off Notice Lay Off Notice , Congratulations, Mr. Rouse, you're now a free agent!
Change Technology Unions Change Technology Unions , computer computer , The network is down and my computer keeps saying 'union, union, union'!
Death Doctors Health Persistence Death Doctors Health Persistence , cemetary cemetary , I Want a Second Opinion NO CAPTION
Change Lawyers Change Lawyers , car car , Caution Lawyer On Board NO CAPTION
Change Marketing Television Change Marketing Television , Real Real , I hope Lou's Liquor Store gets hit again. Last night's ratings sky-rocketed.
Change Competency Resources Recruitment Change Competency Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , You misspelled graduate.
Change Quality Service Travel Change Quality Service Travel , airline food airline food , And for your personal comfort and safety, we recommend you do not eat our in-flight meal.
Change Quality Safety Sports Change Quality Safety Sports , sky diver sky diver , Parachute Life-Time Warranty NO CAPTION
Change Managers Training Change Managers Training , Analysis Analysis , Another management survival training course. NO CAPTION
Change Teamwork Change Teamwork , Team Player Professionalism Team Player Professionalism , In other words, smile while you're being screwed.
Banks Crime , Teller , I told you we shouldn't have come during lunch hour.
Change Competency Leisure Sports Change Competency Leisure Sports , boat boat , Wow! Cool earrings, Dad.
Change Innovation Marketing Change Innovation Marketing , , Bungee Jump Group Rates NO CAPTION
Technology , cell phone , I dropped my new cellular phone.
, ,
Change Initiative Change Initiative , Creativity Liberation Army Choir Creativity Liberation Army Choir , It's for a good cause.
Animals Change Effectiveness Ethics Leisure Animals Change Effectiveness Ethics Leisure , Ammo Ammo , This should make it more sporting.
Change Motivation Change Motivation , Minutes Retirement Minutes Retirement , Is it me, or does the day seem to drag on forever?
Change Lawyers Marriage Change Lawyers Marriage , bride bride , And the first party of the first part, herein known as Cathy ...
Change Unemployment Change Unemployment , Jobs Jobs , There's nothing wrong with unemployment that a lot of money couldn't fix.
Awareness Awareness , Creativity Bobbitt Sexual Harassment Coordinator Creativity Bobbitt Sexual Harassment Coordinator , She doesn't really work here, but it's one heck of a deterrent.
Banks Technology Banks Technology , , Your account must be overdrawn.
Technology Television Technology Television , remote control remote control , Oh, wow - another episode of 'Three's Company'!
Awareness Crime Leadership Awareness Crime Leadership , convict convict , So, you went to Harvard and learned to delegate authority, then what happened?
Health Safety , airplane , Whoa! Whatever you do, don't eat the in-flight meal.
Bureaucracy Effectiveness Managers Productivity Reliability Bureaucracy Effectiveness Managers Productivity Reliability , ,
Banks Banks , Loan Manager Loan Manager , Exactly how much do you need?
Crime Service Crime Service , check check , Well, okay, but I need three pieces of identification.
Effectiveness Travel , accident , Glen's Wine Tasting Bicycle Tour Napa Valley NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Planning Effectiveness Planning , , 9:00 A.M. Earn Easy Money 10:00 A.M. Fast-Track Companies 12:00 P.M. Bankruptcy Made Simple NO CAPTION
Teamwork animals Teamwork animals , Professionalism Professionalism , Maybe you didn't notice, kid, but we have a dress code here.
Communications Technology Communications Technology , computer network computer network , We have the technology to communicate with anyone, anywhere ... but I have nothing to say.
Motivation Motivation , Professionalism Professionalism , Get out there and improve morale - or you're fired!
Innovation Innovation , airplane airplane , Powdered Water NO CAPTION
Banks Crime Technology Banks Crime Technology , Automatic Teller Automatic Teller , I don't think it heard you ... say it louder.
Change Unemployment Change Unemployment , Bar Grill Bar Grill , I empowered my employees, and then they laid me off because I was redundant.
Religion Religion , animal animal , Stop this sacred cow stuff before it affects the entire herd.
Retail Sales Retail Sales , animal animal , The guy at the pet store says it's warmer than a fur hat.
Evolution Lawyers Evolution Lawyers , Law the Jungle Law the Jungle , Just before lunch, Marvin learns about the process of natural selection.
Change Managers Change Managers , dinosaur dinosaur , Age of Empowerment Last Known Middle Manager NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Service Effectiveness Service , complaint department complaint department , Complain Here $1.00 NO CAPTION
Retail Sales Retail Sales , Save Save , I'm sorry, but your card won't accept any more savings.
Accounting Awareness Accounting Awareness , For Sale Used Corporate Jet Dave Mail Room For Sale Used Corporate Jet Dave Mail Room , If there was an embezzler here, I'd know about it.
Evolution , Finance , Why is our financial forecast written in Japanese?
Lawyers Marriage Lawyers Marriage , , I'm not here to rescue you, Mr. Harris - I'm your wife's attorney.
Accounting Crime Accounting Responsibility Accounting Crime Accounting Responsibility , Morrow Tax Morrow Tax , Let me assure you, sir, I will personally seek out the calculator responsible for those errors.
Advertising Television Advertising Television , commercials commercials , It must be one of those infomercials.
Crime Resources Crime Resources , Human Personnel Human Personnel , I need a leave of absence.
Communications Technology Communications Technology , egypt egypt , It says, 'For a good time, call Cleo.'
Animals Doctors Health Animals Doctors Health , chiroprator chiroprator , My chiropractor says I should find a branch that's more ergonomically correct.
Death Technology Death Technology , Bob the Computer Bob the Computer , It's not really gone ... you still have its memory.
Change Change , ballet ballet , I don't think this change in corporate culture is gonna pay-off.
Responsibility Travel Responsibility Travel , Camel Rental Camel Rental , Did you remember to fill it up?
Entertainment Television Entertainment Television , , Next ... sexy scientists uncover the naked truth about the future of our species!
Innovation Innovation , , It's for the executive on the go.
Resources Innovation Resources Innovation , Human children Human children , We don't have day care - so I hired them as summer students.
Effectiveness Sales Effectiveness Sales , Not Enter security Not Enter security , Frankly, this works just as well.
Television Television , studio studio , Just be yourself.
Courtesy Animals , elephants , Suddenly, Ernie realized his elephant jokes were offensive.
Animals Innovation Animals Innovation , Pay Rent Here Pay Rent Here , This is no ordinary cat.
Innovation Leisure Sports Innovation Leisure Sports , golf golf , There's a foursome at Fifth and 34th who want to play through.
Communications Courtesy Communications Courtesy , Merger Information Merger Information , Merger Information 1-800-YR-FIRED NO CAPTION
Courtesy Crime Courtesy Crime , break and enter break and enter , She wants us to wipe our feet.
Animals Training Animals Training , Security Camera security Security Camera security , All that training for a lousy desk job.
Awareness Productivity Awareness Productivity , , Greg never got around to reading all of his memos on Friday.
Sports Sports , Finance Home Visitor Finance Home Visitor , Your contract is trading three points higher than yesterday.
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous , Valentines Day flowers romance Valentines Day flowers romance , I got flowers here for a Mr. Sugar Buns?
Evolution Evolution , Acme Sharp Sticks Acme Sharp Sticks , Man evolves despite his intelligence.
advertising animals farming , McGregor Farms Discount Beef , I don't think the old guy appreciates our value to this organization.
Competency Technology Competency Technology , Employee Employee , I don't think we should say anything.
Effectiveness Lawyers Effectiveness Lawyers , Andrews Shapiro Cohen Andrews Shapiro Cohen , Don't worry, I do my best work in the last minute.
Managers Managers , The Boss The Boss , Artificial Intelligence.
Sales Technology Sales Technology , remote control remote control , ... the salesman said it was a universal remote.
Banks Lawyers Motivation Negotiations , diving , I just don't have the stomach for corporate raiding.
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Android Robotics Corporation Human Android Robotics Corporation Human , Do you have any experience working with people?
Animals Resources Negotiations Salary Unions , Human , Early trade unionists suffer minor setbacks.
Death Death , Hell Hell , I think we went too far.
Resources Resources , Human birds Human birds , We have to let you go, Grimsby - you've got too much charm and charisma for this line of work.
Bureaucracy Bureaucracy , Government That Way Street Government That Way Street , And after several public meetings, it went to committee ...
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human Interviews Human Interviews , Last year, I was called back 12 times, but didn't get the job because I looked desperate.
Education Education , college college , ... but this is a warranty for a toaster.
Animals Farming Resources , Human cows , Temps.
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human hunters Human hunters , Say, what kind of headhunting firm is this?
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , I can start next week, if I don't find anything better.
Recognition Recognition , napolean napolean , He's been like this since he got his promotion.
Marketing Sales Marketing Sales , Hot Sauce Hot Sauce , After discussing the weather, Hank strikes a trade deal with tourists from Venus - a planet where temperatures reach 890¡ in the shade.
Managers Recognition Managers Recognition , Manager Manager , Yes, Morris, I heard about your promotion.
, Professionalism substitute , Ms. Harris is away today, and I'll be filling in as your supervisor ...
Animals Leisure Animals Leisure , cow cow , Settle down, Slim. You knew we were playing for big steaks.
Animals Health Animals Health , cow cow , Don't take it personally - a lot of people are lactose intolerant.
, Benefits Manufacturing assembly line Benefits Manufacturing assembly line , And they're gonna install a smorgasbord buffet in the cafeteria.
Animals Planning , Creativity decoy , Wait a minute, fellas ... this could be a decoy!
Productivity Productivity , City Dog Catcher City Dog Catcher , We can fill our quota in less than an hour.
Service Service Service Service , Express Courier Customer Express Courier Customer , It contains 68 million excuses.
Absenteeism Productivity Responsibility Absenteeism Productivity Responsibility , , Sorry, Frank, but we're cracking down on people who leave work early.
Safety Safety , 365 Accident Free Days 365 Accident Free Days , Say, didn't you fall like this last year?
Quality Restaurants Quality Restaurants , Special Special , Too salty? A lot of sweat and tears went into making this!
Animals Evolution Persistence Pets Animals Evolution Persistence Pets , Manufacturing Rex Industries Manufacturing Rex Industries , It all started with a few bones and a pair of slippers ...
Animals Farming Planning , cow , Despite a detailed escape plan, Gertie finds herself up the proverbial creek.
Persistence Persistence , , No one has worked harder for this promotion than you, Steeves.
Marketing Sales , , Let me guess - you're gonna save me a bundle on long-distance calling.
Restaurants Service Restaurants Service , toilet paper toilet paper , We're out of napkins.
Doctors Evolution Health Doctors Evolution Health , Chiropractor Chiropractor , I'll need to see you and your offspring for the next two million years.
Managers Managers , Zone Zone , So, what's it like being the only man on our management team?
Death Religion Sales Death Religion Sales , funeral funeral , Don't ask me why these things happen - I'm in sales, not management.
Marketing Retail Marketing Retail , Genius Genius , Say, do these things really work?!
Marketing Technology Marketing Technology , Product Research Product Research , I think we can market it as a solar- powered clock.
Psychiatry Psychiatry , couch couch , I don't mind having multiple personalities - the problem is I hate crowds.
Courtesy Planning Courtesy Planning , coffee coffee , Next time, let's meet for coffee in your office.
Quality Restaurants Quality Restaurants , chef chef , Of course they're 100% pure beef - it's a condition of my parole.
Marketing Retail Safety Marketing Retail Safety , Pepper Spray security Pepper Spray security , We also carry orange, wild cherry and wintergreen mint.
Communications Planning Communications Planning , Moses Moses , Geez, not another mission statement.
, Holidays Real Estate children Holidays Real Estate children , Real estate!
Courtesy Travel Courtesy Travel , birds birds , It's the damn paparazzi again.
Leadership Leadership , Holidays Santa Holidays Santa , I'm just a figurehead - the real business is in Taiwan.
Marriage Marriage , Mattress Testing Laboratory Professionalism Mattress Testing Laboratory Professionalism , My wife thinks I'm a workaholic.
Effectiveness Productivity Technology Effectiveness Productivity Technology , galley galley , D'ya ever get the feeling we're just going in circles?
Quality Travel Quality Travel , airplane airplane , Wow! De-icing planes is just like luggage handling.
Competency Competency , baby baby , I assume you're not the primary care giver.
Marketing Marketing , MCI BELL SPRINT MCI BELL SPRINT , I got a special deal from all of them.
Managers Technology Managers Technology , Auto Manager Praise Criticism Sympathy Promotion Auto Manager Praise Criticism Sympathy Promotion , If you don't like it, see the machine on the sixth floor.
Crime Religion Crime Religion , Beware God Beware God , We were robbed again last week.
Leisure Motivation Leisure Motivation , fishing fishing , They don't bite unless you use fifties.
Sports Sports Television Sports Sports Television , Channel Channel , Tonight's scores - owners $48 million, players $32 million.
Innovation Technology Innovation Technology , Auto Snap Auto Snap , You don't even have to go on vacation - just put it on the tour bus and it takes its own pictures.
, ,
Negotiations Religion Negotiations Religion , bible bible , They counter-offered with 10 suggestions and want a guarantee on the promised land thing.
Animals Teamwork , dogs , Let's give him another lecture about teamwork.
Competency Effectiveness Competency Effectiveness , barbarians barbarians , Let's get it right this time - booty means riches, not footwear!
Doctors Health Technology Doctors Health Technology , doctor doctor , No one is saying it's a computer virus, but we erased your hard drive just to be on the safe side.
Quality Quality , Body Piercing Body Piercing , It's not so bad when you look at it from this angle.
Philosophy Philosophy , Road Less Travelled Road Less Travelled , Road Less Travelled NO CAPTION
Competency Quality Competency Quality , barber barber , Slash - is that a nickname?
Recognition Recognition , androids androids , He still thinks he can get promoted.
Animals Lawyers Leisure , guns , Don't shoot, Fred. It looks like the moose got himself a lawyer.
Animals Farming Resources Recruitment , Human sheep , It sounds like a good offer, but I think I'll keep the job I have.
Retail Retail , Exchanges Holidays Exchanges Holidays , Now I understand why the old guy runs the business from up here.
Lawyers Lawyers , Holidays court Holidays court , Your Honor, this man unjustly characterized my client as being naughty.
Resources Innovation Resources Innovation , Human driver Human driver , I knew flexible hours wouldn't work.
Awareness Recruitment Awareness Recruitment , Mounted Police Mounted Police , They told me I was gonna work Fraud.
Resources Salary , Holidays Human christmas , You can't expect happy little workers for this kind of money.
Safety Safety , photocopier photocopier , Say, do you have any suntan lotion?
Effectiveness Service Technology Effectiveness Service Technology , answering machine answering machine , This is the Bibco Technical Support Line - for sympathy, press one ... for sob stories, press two ... for arguments, press three ...
Marriage Retail Marriage Retail , Rings Rings , Do you have anything I can rent?
Effectiveness Quality Effectiveness Quality , Ace Condom Company Manufacturing Ace Condom Company Manufacturing , Let's not panic - this may be just a coincidence.
Accounting Accounting , Finance Government Harps for Rent Finance Government Harps for Rent , We've been told to balance the budget.
Recruitment Responsibility Recruitment Responsibility , Help Wanted Professionalism Help Wanted Professionalism , Do you have flexible hours? I don't usually get up before noon.
Lawyers Marriage Lawyers Marriage , bride bride , We wanted our lawyers to cut the cake.
Innovation Marketing , laundry , Wash & Wave Pool Laundry NO CAPTION
Animals Ethics Animals Ethics , lobster lobster , Geez, do they always turn white like that?!
Advertising , Fresh From Alaska Frozen Orange Juice , Never over-estimate the intelligence of the consumer, Bizwell.
Animals Negotiations Unions Animals Negotiations Unions , cow cow , I know the herd follows you, Bessy, but I doubt they're ready to strike.
Competency Negotiations Negotiations Unions Competency Negotiations Negotiations Unions , Luggage Union Luggage Union , Uh, it seems we lost our list of demands.
Health Initiative Health Initiative , Discipline joint Discipline joint , This isn't the drug testing program I had in mind.
Entertainment Restaurants Entertainment Restaurants , Special Rush Limbaugh Sandwich Special Rush Limbaugh Sandwich , It's just a lot of bologna with a slice of ham.
Courtesy Persistence Sales Courtesy Persistence Sales , bath tub bath tub , Your doorbell must be broken.
Leadership Training Leadership Training , Moses Moses , I hate these leadership seminars.
Health Health , Admissions Benefits Admissions Benefits , I'm sorry, Mr. Finlay, your medical plan doesn't cover everything.
Accounting Accounting , children children , How did a cute little tax deduction turn into a major liability?
Productivity Restaurants Productivity Restaurants , lamp lamp , ... and you want that with double cheese?
, ,
Recognition Recognition , The 2nd Executive Associate Managing The 2nd Executive Associate Managing , I'd rather have the raise.
Animals Effectiveness Farming , sheep , It happens every time he takes inventory.
Travel Religion Sales Travel Travel Religion Sales Travel , , Okay, now let me get this straight - it's a last-minute sell-off and no singles allowed.
Maintenance Managers Safety Maintenance Managers Safety , Manufacturing accident Manufacturing accident , Hey Bob, there's another manager caught in the machinery.
Crime Education Lawyers Crime Education Lawyers , children children , It's from Joey. He'll be in law school another 3 to 5 years.
Competency Safety , execution , ... a bit more to the left!
Change Health Marketing Service Change Health Marketing Service , Spa Spa , We wanted to improve our image.
Awareness Science Awareness Science , aliens aliens , I didn't see nothin'. Did you?
Ethics Health Lawyers Ethics Health Lawyers , Attorney Attorney , Good news ... I've negotiated a settlement that should cover your legal fees.
Animals Health Marriage Pets , bed , You whistle when you snore.
Advertising Marketing Persistence Sales Advertising Marketing Persistence Sales , bottle bottle , We must be on a mailing list.
Courtesy Persistence , dentures , Who keeps chewing on these pencils?!
Quality Restaurants Quality Restaurants , Special hot Curry Sandwich Special hot Curry Sandwich , It's standard procedure.
Resources Recognition , Discipline Human success , My classmates voted me 'Most Likely to Fire Someone'!
Ethics Retail Sales , Off , We rip off our suppliers and pass the savings onto you!
Salary , Benefits canon , It's not that bad ... I get salary, plus mileage.
Farming Motivation Farming Motivation , Chicken the Month Chicken the Month , Frankly, I didn't think they'd go for this performance incentive stuff.
Quality Retail Service Technology Quality Retail Service Technology , Toy Toy , Sure, now it works.
Advertising Communications Marketing Advertising Communications Marketing , Christmas Public Relations Christmas Public Relations , It's your new image, Nick.
Dentistry Health Innovation Unions Dentistry Health Innovation Unions , machine machine , I told you we'd get a dental plan.
Advertising Animals Awareness Communications Ethics Marketing Safety Advertising Animals Awareness Communications Ethics Marketing Safety , fish fish , Careful guys, I've seen this scam before.
Competency Leisure Safety Teamwork Competency Leisure Safety Teamwork , boat boat , Hey! How about you be the anchor for a while?
Effectiveness Health Resources Safety Effectiveness Health Resources Safety , Human Smoking Area Human Smoking Area , That's the third smoker we've lost this week.
Bureaucracy Insurance Safety Bureaucracy Insurance Safety , safe safe , Can you see the serial number from where you are?
Banks Change Religion Banks Change Religion , collection collection , It looks like we own another savings and loan.
Crime Ethics Travel Crime Ethics Travel , Customs Government Customs Government , Honest, my name is Howard Johnson!
Effectiveness Resources Motivation Teamwork Effectiveness Resources Motivation Teamwork , Human desert Human desert , Remember, Gilbert, these corporate retreats build character.
Awareness Change Ethics Resources Awareness Change Ethics Resources , Christmas Human Christmas Human , I know it's tradition, Nick - but you can't discriminate against tall people anymore.
Change Innovation Technology Change Innovation Technology , caveman children caveman children , Your father wonders why you don't play with your club anymore?
Initiative Innovation Marriage Initiative Innovation Marriage , bride bride , We couldn't afford a photographer.
Effectiveness Initiative Innovation Motivation Effectiveness Initiative Innovation Motivation , carrot carrot , It's an old idea, but damned if it doesn't work.
Managers Productivity Reliability Responsibility Managers Productivity Reliability Responsibility , firing squad firing squad , After all, Freemont ... a deadline is a deadline.
Advertising Death Effectiveness Marketing Technology Advertising Death Effectiveness Marketing Technology , now dead Public Relations now dead Public Relations , You were the best P.R. man we ever had.
Animals Farming Recognition Safety Animals Farming Recognition Safety , Christmas Christmas , Hey look! I've been invited to a roast!
Effectiveness Health Psychiatry Stress Effectiveness Health Psychiatry Stress , gun gun , Okay. You've got 15 minutes! What's wrong with me?
Animals Communications Technology Animals Communications Technology , bird bird , Uh-oh, Harold's getting another fax.
Crime Ethics Lawyers Crime Ethics Lawyers , jail jail , How's my appeal going?
Accounting Crime Innovation Salary Accounting Crime Innovation Salary , mugging mugging , Think of it as a payroll deduction.
Effectiveness Health Resources Stress Effectiveness Health Resources Stress , Human sleep sleeping Human sleep sleeping , When stress management works too well.
Animals Ethics Resources Leisure Recruitment Animals Ethics Resources Leisure Recruitment , Human fish Human fish , We've had a few complaints about your recruiting methods.
Communications Communications Recognition Recognition Communications Communications Recognition Recognition , bulletin board bulletin board , Employee of the Month. NO CAPTION
Change Motivation Philosophy Training Change Motivation Philosophy Training , , Okay, okay. No more Japanese management seminars.
Innovation Technology Innovation Technology , computer security computer security , It's our new computer security system!
Motivation Persistence Motivation Persistence , bench bench , The way I see it, anything worth doing has already been done before.
Philosophy Religion Philosophy Religion , Confucius Says Confucius Says , A journey of a thousand miles ends with a wrong step.
Insurance Insurance Insurance Insurance , General General , Good news! Our doctors say you're ready to go back to work.
Lawyers Religion Lawyers Religion , Confessional Confessional , You mean my client's alleged confession, don't you, Father?
Absenteeism Absenteeism Responsibility Absenteeism Absenteeism Responsibility , Sunny Weather Sunny Weather , I'm afraid we can't control the weather, sir.
Resources Resources , Human Personnel Professionalism Human Personnel Professionalism , Do I have to dress up for the next interview, too?
, Benefits Holidays Vacation Time Pick Trip Place Head Here Benefits Holidays Vacation Time Pick Trip Place Head Here , Everyone gets 10 minutes after one year of service.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Human Reception Human Reception , I'm new here - could you tell me where to put the layoff notices?
Planning Travel , Ace Motel Welcomes Clog Dancers America , Why are you so suspicious when I find a bargain?
Animals Change Evolution Negotiations , bugs , Fine! Leave the family business. But don't come crawling back!!!
Ethics Ethics , Creativity Finance Creativity Finance , We have to cheat our clients, Beezley ... otherwise we wouldn't have enough money to pay off the lawsuits.
Effectiveness Productivity Effectiveness Productivity , coin meter coin meter , They have me working on a fee for service basis.
Technology Technology , computer computer , How much RAM did you install?
Awareness Communications Awareness Communications , gossip gossip , Nobody's talking behind your back, Lisa. And frankly, we all think you're being a little obsessive about this.
Advertising Advertising , promotion promotion , We interrupt this meeting with a word from Bub's Beer - the after-work treat!
Salary Salary , devil devil , I guess this means we'll finally get that raise he promised.
Competency Resources Recruitment Competency Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , I won't work with anyone who's a Gemini or Libra.
Bureaucracy Health Bureaucracy Health , Clinic Clinic , You'll have to take him someplace else.
Lawyers Religion , ark , Fortunately for me, Noah thinks lawyers are vermin.
Lawyers Lawyers , court court , We find the defendant 'not guilty,' providing he promises never to do it again.
Effectiveness Effectiveness , Market Research Market Research ,
, For Sale Real Estate , They couldn't keep up the payments.
Psychiatry Psychiatry , couch couch , Tell us about your parent corporation.
Communications Religion Communications Religion , GOD GOD , This way, He doesn't have to start a fire or flood to send a message.
Motivation Recognition Motivation Recognition , devil devil , How do you get a good appraisal here?
Banks Banks , Ebbons Ebbons , I just need enough for pizza and a movie.
Education Responsibility Education Responsibility , college college , It's from Dad. He wants me to drop out of college and get a job.
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous , , Don't you think it's odd that no matter what we do, we always end up in Nevada?
Competency Resources Managers Competency Resources Managers , Human Personnel Human Personnel , I would have been a manager by now, if somebody hadn't snitched on me.
Responsibility Safety death Responsibility Safety death , , All those in favor of calling this a workplace accident ...
Managers Teamwork Managers Teamwork , Report Report , Your staff conspired against you, Milwood ... but on the up side, they showed remarkable teamwork.
Managers Quality Retail Managers Quality Retail , The Management Brain Shoppe The Management Brain Shoppe , And here's one from a teen-ager ... hardly ever used.
Quality Retail Quality Retail , Professionalism Professionalism , I understand, Larry ... sometimes a man just has to give a customer a wedgie.
Effectiveness Effectiveness , Creativity Finance Profits Creativity Finance Profits , That hat won't divert our attention this time, Grimsby.
Initiative Innovation Initiative Innovation , Original Thoughts Original Thoughts , This was one hell of a business idea, Frank.
Communications Technology , railway , And you explained we needed an on-line mail system?
Banks Resources Unemployment Banks Resources Unemployment , Bank Human Bank Human , Before I go, I was wondering if I could have a letter of reference.
Effectiveness Productivity Effectiveness Productivity , , I heard he slept his way to the top.
Motivation Unemployment Motivation Unemployment , Our Team Our Team , I never know whether to hold pep rallies before or after layoffs.
Planning , Ace Boomerang Manufacturing , I guess we should have expected this.
Managers Recognition Teamwork Managers Recognition Teamwork , , It's rare to find a manager who gives so much credit to his team.
Animals Pets Retail Service Animals Pets Retail Service , Pet Shop Pet Shop , We can't give you a refund just because it doesn't like you.
Innovation Quality Innovation Quality , Track Track , The first blade lifts, while the second one gives you a cleaner and closer shave.
Competency Resources Competency Resources , Human Metro Zoo Public Relations Human Metro Zoo Public Relations , The lions don't like you, Bizzly. And frankly, you didn't do much better in public relations either.
Ethics Lawyers Ethics Lawyers , , The jury should know that my client will pay full restitution to the next 12 people who call this number.
Travel Travel , Holidays cruise Holidays cruise , How much more were the third-class cabins?
Teamwork Teamwork , ear ear , Let's agree that whoever hears anything first will then come and tell the other.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Human Layoff Notice Human Layoff Notice , Frankly, it's your negative attitude.
Managers Television Unemployment Managers Television Unemployment , , The Unemployed Middle Managers Network NO CAPTION
Ethics , Maternity Ward , There's a sucker born every minute.
Ethics Ethics , Professionalism camera Professionalism camera , We share your concerns about privacy. So, from now on, you can take them off when you go to the bathroom.
Resources Travel Resources Travel , Human Notice Human Notice , You may be next, Larry - all the signs are there.
Animals Death Philosophy Animals Death Philosophy , gazelle gazelle , Still believe in reincarnation?
Courtesy Courtesy , cologne cologne , Why should I say something? You gave him the cheap cologne last Christmas.
Effectiveness Innovation Effectiveness Innovation , cost cutting cost cutting , We've tried restraint and fat trimming ... now it's liposuction.
Innovation Stress Innovation Stress , cavemen cavemen , I've been stressed ever since you invented that thing.
Animals Negotiations Salary Unions Animals Negotiations Salary Unions , Benefits beavers Benefits beavers , We got the raise, but they still won't budge on the dental plan.
Responsibility Responsibility , Bon Voyage Holidays Professionalism Bon Voyage Holidays Professionalism , I thought you said he'd be gone for two weeks.
Health , addiction , My name is Scott, and I've been sober for three hours.
Competency Competency , , Fortunately, Millwood, you're in a company that rewards failure.
Leisure Sports , bowling Miniature Bowling , Some of the world's most famous bowlers got their start right here!
Innovation Marketing Innovation Marketing , Business Vitamins Business Vitamins , I hope these sell better than the Corporate Enemas.
Innovation Motivation Productivity Innovation Motivation Productivity , hammock hammock , The boss wants to know if you've finished the employee motivational banner yet.
Motivation Sales Motivation Sales , cheer cheer , Tell Filman in sales that he's our man; if he can't do it, someone else can.
Lawyers Lawyers , stapler stapler , A contract is just paper, Henry, unless you're really bound by it.
Resources Resources , Human Human , Personnel Mind Body Soul NO CAPTION
Communications Technology Communications Technology , computers computers , Internet dating.
Evolution , , The Evolution of Working Man
Change Communications Unions Change Communications Unions , Ace Wire and Telegraph Ace Wire and Telegraph , We'll win this strike, if we can get our message across.
Evolution Religion Technology Evolution Religion Technology , angel angel , Welcome to Heaven Version 1.5 NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Effectiveness , Creativity coupons Creativity coupons , How many coupons do you think we'll need to bribe the guards?
Competency Technology Competency Technology , Wild Berry Wild Berry , Maybe you're supposed to use a special kind of paper jam.
Productivity Productivity , , Work Days Lost Accidents 3 Sick Leave 12 Web Surfing 983 NO CAPTION
Motivation Sports , pool , Shark in Pool NO CAPTION
Resources Training Resources Training , Human Human , It says here, sir, it costs the average company $25,000 to hire and train a new employee.
Effectiveness Innovation Effectiveness Innovation , axe axe , They're good ideas, Bob ... definitely head and shoulders above the rest.
Lawyers Lawyers , Time Sheet Time Sheet , Still keeping track of your billable hours?
Ethics Resources Recruitment Ethics Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , I heard you may have an opening for an unqualified family member.
Effectiveness Innovation Science Effectiveness Innovation Science , microscope microscope , Think of it, Lewis ... a corporate culture without a sappy mission statement.
, Creativity Finance chart Creativity Finance chart , It depends on how you look at it, sir.
Communications Marketing Communications Marketing , Sea Shells Sea Shells , It's hard to say what I do.
Communications Marketing Sales Communications Marketing Sales , Publishing Publishing , It doesn't mean anything except book sales.
Change Marketing Science Change Marketing Science , Christopher Columbus Christopher Columbus , Sorry, Chris, our market research tells us that most people prefer it remain flat.
Unions Unions , notice notice , Grievance Procedure NO CAPTION
advertising competency marketing , Ace Flying School , Ace Flying School NO CAPTION
Innovation Innovation , Patents Patents , Registration #00-00000-1.
Effectiveness Productivity Effectiveness Productivity , Creativity clock Creativity clock , I still find it hard to believe somebody won an employee suggestion award for this.
Animals Recognition Animals Recognition , bald eagle bald eagle , Why can't you just accept that you're a bald eagle?
Health Health , factory factory , Smoking Area NO CAPTION
Competency Service Competency Service , Shoe Shine Shoe Shine , Want to be his second customer?
Change Competency Maintenance Technology Change Competency Maintenance Technology , Shredder XL5000 Shredder XL5000 , I think I know why the copier keeps eating your documents ...
Change Managers Religion Change Managers Religion , bible bible , We're tired of your holier-than-thou management style.
Animals Change Negotiations Productivity Salary Animals Change Negotiations Productivity Salary , chickens chickens , They want an increase in production, but all they pay is chicken feed.
Accounting Change Accounting Change , cubicles cubicles , I hear the firm on the second floor has free range accountants!
Change Unemployment Change Unemployment , Layoff Layoff , But I'm just a student on a tour of the plant!
Change Courtesy Negotiations Change Courtesy Negotiations , bare ass bare ass , I take it that's your bottom line?
Change Effectiveness Productivity Change Effectiveness Productivity , fish bowl fish bowl , I can't work under these conditions.
Innovation Marketing Sales , SnowBalls For Sale , Snow Balls For Sale Some Assembly Required NO CAPTION
Change Recognition Change Recognition , Ford 372nd Vice President Ford 372nd Vice President , We used to call him a 'gofer.'
Persistence , Discipline desk , Dear Sir, thank you for the transfer, and this time I won't let you down.
Animals Change Service Travel Animals Change Service Travel , Baggage Lost and Found Baggage Lost and Found , It was surprisingly easy to find!
Bureaucracy Change Bureaucracy Change , Finance kidnapping Finance kidnapping , The kidnappers want a $2 million ransom for the boss, but Purchasing insists on 30 days net plus interest.
Change Death Quality Restaurants Change Death Quality Restaurants , chefs chefs , It's a letter from another widow.
Change Managers Productivity Change Managers Productivity , castle castle , Management wants you to set performance goals.
Change Effectiveness Teamwork Unemployment Change Effectiveness Teamwork Unemployment , Team Work Team Work , Despite last week's layoffs, we'll continue with our motivational seminars ...
Change Lawyers Marriage Change Lawyers Marriage , court court , Why does he get a career and I get 16 years of hard labor?
Change Crime Sales Change Crime Sales , camera security camera security , Psst ... wanna buy a security system?
Absenteeism Change Absenteeism Change , tunnel tunnel , Watch the door - I don't want anyone sneaking out before 5 p.m.!
Change Managers Change Managers , , Here's a tip: Keep an eye on his mood ring.
Accounting Animals Farming Productivity , cows , Milk production is down, but they've solved my accounting problems.
Change Competency Change Competency , box box , Good to have you back, sir. I'm sure you know these shipping accidents could happen to anyone.
Change Competency Psychiatry Change Competency Psychiatry , Offenloser Offenloser , OK, how about this one: A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar ...
Change Lawyers Change Lawyers , Creativity Finance lawsuit Creativity Finance lawsuit , We're short of cash ... call my lawyer and sue somebody.
Change Unemployment Unemployment Change Unemployment Unemployment , Government Holidays Benefits Government Holidays Benefits , I told you last year - one day of work doesn't qualify you!
Accounting Change Accounting Change , , TAX DEPT GRAY AREA NO CAPTION
Change Change , Creativity Finance annual report Creativity Finance annual report , It was my idea to make the annual report a pop-up book.
Change Competency Psychiatry Change Competency Psychiatry , couch couch , After 17 years of analysis, all you can say is 'cheer up'?
Change Innovation Sales Change Innovation Sales , Camping Supplies Camping Supplies , It's our best seller.
Miscellaneous , Ban Spaghetti , Looks like another anti-pasta demonstration.
Change Motivation Negotiations Change Motivation Negotiations , ledge ledge , It's not worth it! Stobel got only 2 percent more ... and that was after he jumped.
Change Managers Persistence Change Managers Persistence , , We've implemented every new management fad so far ... I say we give Wilson's rabbit foot a try.
Change Health Productivity Change Health Productivity , Professionalism Professionalism , Oh ... he does this at the end of every quarter.
Change Restaurants Change Restaurants , Eat More Veggies Eat More Veggies , It looks like a very sensible lunch.
Accounting Accounting Change Doctors Accounting Accounting Change Doctors , Ace Ace , It's tax season all right - that's the third calculator I've extracted today.
Change Sales Change Sales , cactus cactus , Sorry, all we have left are salted peanuts.
Animals Change Farming Animals Change Farming , computer computer , You know, I could have figured it out myself.
Change Service Change Service , vending machine vending machine , Get A Life! Quarters Only NO CAPTION
Change Responsibility Change Responsibility , beaver beaver , Look at these teeth marks! I'm telling you, he's the one chewing our pencils.
Absenteeism Change Absenteeism Change , invisible man invisible man , Funny how you're only invisible on Fridays.
Change Effectiveness Religion Travel travel Change Effectiveness Religion Travel travel , air air , We now fly economy.
Service , Adult Toys Discretion Assured Professionalism , I had the wrong address, but fortunately your neighbors know you.
Accounting Change Ethics Accounting Change Ethics , Annual Report Professionalism Annual Report Professionalism , It says here you're sleeping with Susan in Accounting.
Change Death Lawyers Change Death Lawyers , RIP RIP , They were his partners.
Change Change , Bob Manufacturing Professionalism Bob Manufacturing Professionalism , Mind if I call you Bob?
Change Lawyers Change Lawyers , dungeon dungeon , Small world, isn't it? ... I mean, what are the odds of us having the same lawyer?!
Change Leisure Sports Change Leisure Sports , golf golf , I don't want to complain - but these golf shoes are killing me.
Change Technology Change Technology , Computer Systems Computer Systems , It does fit in your pocket ... this is the manual.
Change Health Psychiatry Change Health Psychiatry , couch couch , Do all your multiple personalities have health plans?
Change Productivity Religion Change Productivity Religion , angels angels GBM OvrK , Why God's work is never done.
Change Miscellaneous Change Miscellaneous , breakfast breakfast , Say, this looks like my sock.
Change Service Technology Change Service Technology , Repair Repair , We've located the problem ... it's a defective user.
Change Competency Lawyers Change Competency Lawyers , hammer hammer , I'm sure I said mail the letter to our attorney.
Change Travel Change Travel , AirPort Security Government security AirPort Security Government security , It contains only problems and headaches.
Change Crime Ethics Ethics Change Crime Ethics Ethics , Director Director , You're stealing from the wrong people again, Milwood.
Change Courtesy Travel Change Courtesy Travel , airplane airplane , For goodness sake, Harry, put your shoes back on.
Resources , Human Professionalism building , We don't hire casual labor here.
Marketing Miscellaneous , bullseye , This explains why you get so much junk mail.
Change Managers Change Managers , Supervisor Supervisor , We've had a few complaints from the forces of evil.
Change Planning Planning Change Planning Planning , Corporate Corporate , What do you want to do today?
Change Innovation Teamwork Change Innovation Teamwork , environment environment , It's an incentive program ... they have to work harder just to keep warm.
Change Lawyers Change Lawyers , Bozo Biffo Law Office Bozo Biffo Law Office , Don't worry, kid, I'll get this case laughed out of court.
Change Lawyers Change Lawyers , author author , You have the right to a publishing agent, or the court can appoint one for you.
Change Farming Marriage Change Farming Marriage , chickens chickens , After the divorce, he got the farm but I got the animals.
Change Salary Change Salary , , It must be payday.
Planning Planning , Corporate , So it's settled - Greg brings the donuts on Monday, Susan on Tuesday ...
Change Lawyers Marriage Change Lawyers Marriage , court court , It was a mutual mistake - I married her for her looks and she married me for my money.
Change Leadership Reliability Change Leadership Reliability , , We don't want leadership qualities - we just want people dumb enough to follow.
Change Competency accounting Change Competency accounting , Finance Finance , What kitty did you want me to put money into?
Change Competency Change Competency , , He's just thankful he survived another employee appraisal.
Change Communications Change Communications , Public Relations Public Relations , Let's hope corporate communications can put a positive spin on this.
Communications , Sloth , I expect old Griswald will be announcing his retirement today.
Change Teamwork Change Teamwork , family family , Lewis, we called your mother because you haven't been working well with others.
Change Psychiatry Change Psychiatry , analysis analysis , Gee, Doc, I really appreciate you letting me go on like this.
Change Safety Change Safety , canon canon , Don't forget your safety helmet!
Change Effectiveness Technology Change Effectiveness Technology , abacus abacus , We'd still have our computers if you hadn't done that cost of technology analysis.
Animals Change Farming Animals Change Farming , Finance cow Finance cow , I know it's the fifth time today, but frankly I need the cash.
Travel , Tourists Trap , Last year we only paid $25.
Change Effectiveness Managers Teamwork Change Effectiveness Managers Teamwork , boat boat , Just my luck I get a crew of business administration grads.
Animals Change Effectiveness Managers Animals Change Effectiveness Managers , dogs dogs , It happens every time we get new management.
Change Health Planning Risk Change Health Planning Risk , accident accident , See?! I told you this can happen when you don't wear clean underwear.
Change Managers Productivity Change Managers Productivity , Professionalism Professionalism , I hear a supervisor coming ... maybe two ...
Change Service Change Service , car car , Self Serve NO CAPTION
Change Innovation Change Innovation , Reward For Ideas Creativity Reward For Ideas Creativity , That was my idea.
Ethics Technology Television , satellite , Why report it? I get 38,000 channels!
Change Lawyers death Change Lawyers death , , I know you believe in reincarnation, but you can't will everything to yourself.
Change Managers Change Managers , Satan Satan , We don't raise hell here, son. We just try to manage it.
Effectiveness Managers , layoffs , After 18 months of trimming the fat, it looks like it's just you and me.
Animals Change Resources Recruitment Animals Change Resources Recruitment , Human bull Human bull , We check references - just in case we're being fed a heap of you-know-what.
Change Evolution Lawyers Change Evolution Lawyers , castle castle , We don't loot and plunder like that anymore.
Change Persistence Productivity Change Persistence Productivity , , Payroll confirms it ... he's been a coat rack since 1947.
Technology Technology , computer store computer store , Do you have one that's not so user-friendly?
Persistence , criminal , OK, you're getting warmer ... now take your time and try again.
Ethics Psychiatry Ethics Psychiatry , Bill Bill , If I had known you were broke, I never would have treated you.
Initiative Persistence , Stink Bomb Factory , And they voted me the least likely to succeed ...
Ethics Ethics , affirmative action affirmative action , Now that we have a Yale man, I'd say we've met our affirmative action quotas.
Change Construction Change Construction , , The owners are willing to give you a kiosk in the new mall.
Courtesy Recognition Courtesy Recognition , , Thanks for not drawing attention to me during the meeting.
Planning Planning Planning Planning , Finance Retirement Finance Retirement , I'd say your best bet is in Las Vegas.
Unemployment Unemployment , Days Without Layoff Days Without Layoff , 59 DAYS WITHOUT A LAYOFF NO CAPTION
Advertising Teamwork Technology Advertising Teamwork Technology , computers computers , We've built a web site ... now what?
, Holidays beach Holidays beach , It's a working vacation.
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Apply Here Human Apply Here Human , It helps you to tell the truth ... and saves us from checking references.
Communications Death Technology Communications Death Technology , cemetery cemetery , RIP Jones@heaven.com NO CAPTION
Recognition Responsibility Recognition Responsibility , footprints footprints , Did you see how quickly he took credit for your work?
Animals Effectiveness Farming Animals Effectiveness Farming , cow cow , We were able to lay off the other cows when we got Betsy.
Restaurants Service , Early Bird Special Worms , Sorry, all we have left are bacon and eggs.
Training Training Training Training , Employee Employee , He must be good - everyone calls him The Great Rinaldo.
Leadership Leadership , , I don't mind delegating authority because nothing is irreversible.
Death Persistence Death Persistence , casket casket , He always said he would take his client list with him.
Animals Miscellaneous Science Animals Miscellaneous Science , deer deer , Take my advice and keep the alien abduction story to yourself.
Animals Effectiveness Farming , Take Number , If you ask me, this violates the laws of nature.
Courtesy Risk Courtesy Risk , Video Rental Please Rewind Tapes Video Rental Please Rewind Tapes , You obviously didn't read the fine print.
Quality Restaurants Quality Restaurants , , TODAY'S SPECIAL HOW IT LOOKED LAST WEEK NO CAPTION
Technology Technology , manual manual , COMPUTERS MADE EASY NO CAPTION
Ethics Resources Recruitment Ethics Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Professionalism Human Personnel Professionalism , I don't have any trade secrets or customers to bring to the job ... but I swiped all these office supplies!
Motivation Motivation , , We need to improve morale ... any of you boneheads have a good idea?
Education Education , Report Card Report Card , Oh yeah? Well, I make more money than you!
Technology Technology , computer computer , I guess that's how you eject a disk.
Doctors Health Doctors Health , hospital hospital , What did the doctor say?
Doctors Health Doctors Health , elderly elderly , Those are all the doctors I've outlived!
Competency Doctors Competency Doctors , doctor doctor , No more chances, Finlay - if you botch this one, you're fired.
Health Stress Stress Health Stress Stress , Management Management , Funny how he always suggests exercise.
Innovation Technology Innovation Technology , Creativity computer Creativity computer , It's a back-up copy of my hard drive.
Bureaucracy Bureaucracy , Lewis Cox Beatty Grodo Randal Davis Walters Binder Curtis Bap Lewis Cox Beatty Grodo Randal Davis Walters Binder Curtis Bap , It's not an org chart - it's the company dating schedule.
Productivity crime Productivity crime , Professionalism Professionalism , The hospital called. Turns out he wasn't dead after all - just asleep.
Doctors Effectiveness Health Doctors Effectiveness Health , Socktor Chiropractor Socktor Chiropractor , For another $100, I can fix that chip on your shoulder.
Effectiveness Effectiveness , , Let's meet to schedule our pre-meetings for the meetings prior to the big meeting.
Retail Sales Retail Sales , Creativity Flag Shop Creativity Flag Shop , Can I get it in a different color?
, Creativity Finance barber Creativity Finance barber , Are you sure this is what they wear on Wall Street?
Lawyers Marriage Lawyers Marriage , His Hers Your Lawyer His Hers Your Lawyer , They're from Mother.
Animals Courtesy Sports , Bite , He's purposely trying to provoke you. Just turn the other cheek.
Recruitment , Strike , You're not exactly being inteviewed for the job ...
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous , Manufacturing Wyman Bakery Manufacturing Wyman Bakery , I'm afraid your inventory is toast.
Quality Service Quality Service , MucBurger Pure Beef MucBurger Pure Beef , It means every customer has a complaint.
Death Lawyers Death Lawyers , Benefits inheritance Benefits inheritance , And for my two sons in the production department, I give them the afternoon off.
Animals Education Animals Education , Finance monkey Finance monkey , C'mon, buddy - just one more summer of this, and I get a business degree.
Managers Recognition Managers Recognition , Smith Cooper Mort Lloyd Kath Scotle Parks Smith Cooper Mort Lloyd Kath Scotle Parks , He's not a bad guy to work for, Bob ... just remember to kneel before him.
Death Effectiveness Death Effectiveness , cemetery cemetery , Did It Done It! NO CAPTION
Service Sports Service Sports , Dodgers Dodgers , As Rocky's agent, it's my job to run the bases for him.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Human Lewis Wallace Peters Hill Cox Harris Bone Human Lewis Wallace Peters Hill Cox Harris Bone , That reminds me ... Harris, they want to see you in Personnel.
Animals Safety Animals Safety , beavers beavers , Do you remember anything else after you heard the word 'timber'?
Lawyers Persistence Lawyers Persistence , Floor Plan Floor Plan , OK, I chewed his lousy pencils! Why did he have to make a federal case of it?!
Sports Television , , What good is it if we only get one channel?
Accounting Leadership Accounting Leadership , delegate delegate , I had Wilson in accounting catch that for me.
Animals Pets Teamwork Animals Pets Teamwork , Resume Resume , He's a loyal team player ... but he tends to mark his territory.
Managers , Creative Management Skills Creativity , I feel it captures the essence of post-modern business impressionism.
Accounting Salary Accounting Salary , , The coffee machine makes more money than I do.
Change Managers Change Managers , plants plants , From now on, you'll be taking orders from our new plant manager.
Accounting Leisure , Battling Accountants , So, who's your favorite C.G.A.?
Quality Technology Quality Technology , computer computer , Windows.
Insurance Quality Service Insurance Quality Service , Ace Courier Fragile Ace Courier Fragile , You should have paid for the extra insurance.
Crime Ethics Lawyers Crime Ethics Lawyers , bribe bribe , One year for bribing a judge ... and 99 more for using counterfeit money.
, Professionalism loot Professionalism loot , I just don't think we should attack on a casual-dress day.
Entertainment Television Entertainment Television , , Another night of garbage! They must think we have nothing better to do than to watch this junk.
Entertainment Television Entertainment Television , Psychotic Friends Network Psychotic Friends Network , Are you sure he reads palms?
Lawyers , court , I can't seem to get through to Juror #13.
Lawyers Marriage Lawyers Marriage , Discipline cat Discipline cat , From now on, I expect you two to fight like cats and dogs!
Maintenance Religion Maintenance Religion , angels angels , We're still waiting for a good plumber.
Communications Technology , Lunch , He's a communications genius, but I can't understand a word he says.
Motivation Persistence Motivation Persistence , foot foot , You'll do fine, Kenshaw - once you get your foot in the door.
Reliability Service Reliability Service , , Burn's Tanning Salon If Timer Jams, Notify Attendant NO CAPTION
Quality Restaurants , restaurant , I guess that front-page story wasn't a favorable review.
Resources Recruitment Responsibility Resources Recruitment Responsibility , Human Personnel Human Personnel , Funny how none of your references can spell trustworthy.
Effectiveness Effectiveness , Habits Highly Effective People Habits Highly Effective People , This probably isn't based on the book.
Technology Technology , Creativity computer Creativity computer , Its must have been a typo, Morris. We don't need computer soft wear.
Technology Technology , Sit Straight Sit Straight , Maybe it's your motherboard.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Human Human , OK, but if you fire me now, don't expect me to come crawling back later!
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , Can you work nights?
Animals Doctors Health Animals Doctors Health , cow cow , When I laugh, milk comes out my nose.
Initiative Innovation Initiative Innovation , builders builders , But if the yeast idea had worked, they would have called me a genius.
Resources Resources , Conflict Human duel union Conflict Human duel union , You're the one who insisted we use an arbitrator to settle this.
, Finance Wishing Well Finance Wishing Well , I don't know if they'll take a check.
Unemployment Unemployment , Corporate Vision Corporate Vision , All I see is the unemployment office.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Human Human , Don't fire anyone until you see the whites of their eyes.
Death Managers Recognition Religion Death Managers Recognition Religion , cemetery cemetery , R.T. Jones Promoted to Management NO CAPTION
Entertainment Marketing , , Elvis Impersonators Retirement Home NO CAPTION
Communications Technology Communications Technology , computer computer , I'm glad we finally hired someone who knows something about teleconferencing.
Miscellaneous Religion Miscellaneous Religion , Born Raise Hell Born Raise Hell , How long do I have to hang out with these do-gooders?
Lawyers Lawyers , court court , I refuse to testify on the grounds that he may incinerate me.
Psychiatry Psychiatry , ledge ledge , I suppose you'll want your money back.
, ,
Death Death , bench bench , Finished with the obituaries?
Animals Farming Resources Unemployment Animals Farming Resources Unemployment , Holidays Human Holidays Human , Sheesh ... you'd think they could have waited until after the holidays.
Communications Communications , Discipline Discipline , Corporate Cafeteria Special -Crow -Hot Water -Boss's Crumbs -Carrot NO CAPTION
Planning Effectiveness , david , I knew this wasn't gonna work a second time.
Death Travel Death Travel , Holidays airplane Holidays airplane , So, where does death take a holiday?
Communications Effectiveness Communications Effectiveness , chiropractor chiropractor , It's from your chiropractor: He doesn't remember saying anything about protecting the lumber region.
, ,
technology , christmas holidays , Don't you like the hair dryer I bought you?
Animals Technology Animals Technology , kangaroo kangaroo , Marsupial computer nerd.
Motivation Motivation , bird bird , Will Sing For Food NO CAPTION
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Acme Sponge Human Acme Sponge Human , Your brother-in-law seems to think you're perfect for the job.
, ,
death death , , Going down?
restaurants , Bar holidays , Anything but cookies and milk.
Managers Managers , fire fire , I like the wall of fire, sir ... it keeps us at a comfortable distance.
Animals Effectiveness Farming Resources Animals Effectiveness Farming Resources , Human chickens Human chickens , I was transferred from Dairy.
Competency Dentistry Competency Dentistry , dentist dentist , OK, I think I see the problem now.
Doctors Effectiveness Doctors Effectiveness , doctor doctor , There - that should alleviate some of the gas you've been having.
Death Negotiations Persistence Salary Death Negotiations Persistence Salary , Deserve Raise Deserve Raise , They were his last words.
, Holidays christmas Holidays christmas , Let's see, we've got crimson red, scarlet red, fire red ...
effectiveness quality service , car , HOT WASH HOT WAX HOT RINSE NO CAPTION
religion , Happy Hanukkah holidays , MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY HANUKKAH NO CAPTION
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human Human , Executives Managers Employees NO CAPTION
Technology Technology , computer computer , It wants the employee manual.
Competency Technology Competency Technology , computer computer , He lost his hard drive.
Communications Communications , cowboy cowboy , It says, 'ouch, hot, ouch, ouch, hot' ...
Technology Technology , computer computer , It downloaded one too many files last night.
Lawyers Lawyers , dungeon dungeon , You could have waived your right to an attorney.
Courtesy Courtesy , toilet toilet , Of course I respect you, McNealy - otherwise I wouldn't have called this meeting.
Animals Education Persistence Pets Animals Education Persistence Pets , Meow Meow Meow Meow , I don't think I can learn a second language.
Persistence Salary Persistence Salary , hare hare , I get paid by the hour?
Communications Courtesy Communications Courtesy , Holidays children Holidays children , Have you been an awesome little dude, or dissin' the 'rents?
Psychiatry Psychiatry , Make Professionalism Make Professionalism , If you don't prescribe drugs, how do you treat depression?
Animals Leisure Technology , hunting ducks , It was just one of our decoys.
Animals Leisure Sports Animals Leisure Sports , cows golf cows golf , Relax, will ya? Just one more round and then we'll head home.
Change Effectiveness Sales Sales Change Effectiveness Sales Sales , Diapers Diapers , Now they want face-to-face meetings with the end-user.
Managers Planning Managers Planning , Management Plan Management Plan , It helps to see the big picture.
Safety Travel Safety Travel , airplane airplane , Are the wings supposed to flap like that?
Effectiveness Technology Effectiveness Technology , Creativity computer Creativity computer , There are better ways to log off.
Animals Unions Animals Unions , assembly line assembly line , Call the union. Management is farming out work again.
Television Television , Island Island , How are our ratings?
Bureaucracy Planning Bureaucracy Planning , Management Management , We should add a few departments to make it more challenging.
Motivation Reliability Motivation Reliability , camera camera , How can I look trustworthy?
Innovation Leisure Innovation Leisure , dock fishing dock fishing , I prefer canned fish.
Animals Unions Animals Unions , Cows America Local Cows America Local , So I say, why give 'em the milk for free?!
Innovation Teamwork , , We think your ideas are just a little, well ... too weird.
Salary Salary , clothes clothes , I like it, Finsby - never let me think I'm overpaying you.
Change Change , Conflict Conflict , Take it from me - colleagues come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Quality Service Service Quality Service Service , The Customer Always Wrong The Customer Always Wrong , We've been sued too many times.
Accounting Accounting , devil devil , Sorry, tax audits are two floors down.
Death Bureaucracy Competency Death Managers Death Bureaucracy Competency Death Managers , Bereavement Leave Employees Must Sign Their Own Notices Bereavement Leave Employees Must Sign Their Own Notices , When we screw up, it's incompetence ... when management screws up, it's policy.
Bureaucracy Death Bureaucracy Death , , It seems fitting that we bury him in paperwork.
Animals Farming Health Animals Farming Health , Farmacy Farmacy , If it's just a common cold, I suggest a 22 ... but if it's more serious, use a 12-gauge.
Effectiveness Planning , castaway , You were right ... we should have built a raft.
Evolution Teamwork Evolution Teamwork , Conflict desk Conflict desk , This merger isn't gonna work.
Competency Crime Competency Crime , gun gun , Is that your car double-parked?
Religion Unemployment Religion Unemployment , , God loves you ... he's just short of cash.
Lawyers Responsibility Lawyers Responsibility , business business , The best part about being incorporated is that you're never personally and legally responsible for what it does.
Persistence Safety Persistence Safety , parachute parachute , You can't expect to get it right the first time.
Farming Miscellaneous , , At least we know they're friendly.
Reliability , Professionalism slot machines , First time in a stock broker's office?
Absenteeism Absenteeism , airplane airplane , The thing is, I used this excuse at work last week.
Technology Technology , computer computer , Don't download anything called water balloon.
Retail , Holidays Merry Xmas , He's in retail.
Animals Change Farming , Merry Cosmetics Animal Testing Laboratory , Sure it's demeaning, but no worse than being milked twice a day.
Motivation Religion , Last Chance Repent , Saint Felix - Patron Saint of Procrastinators.
Managers , aquarium , He's our new management fish.
Effectiveness Planning Effectiveness Planning , Plan Plan , It's taken 7 years, but I think we finally have a draft we can work with.
Evolution Initiative Innovation Evolution Initiative Innovation , Gorak Wheels Since Day One Gorak Wheels Since Day One , That's not how we do things here.
Death Managers Death Managers , casket casket , Right to the end, we're still trying to kiss-up to him ...
Effectiveness Effectiveness , Real Estate house Real Estate house , I didn't want the overhead.
Animals Animals , Holidays cow Holidays cow , I'm going on vacation ... will you cover for me?
Resources Unemployment , Human Our Planet Your Company , The first thing we usually do in a company takeover is down-size.
Education Ethics Education Ethics , ABCDEF teacher teaching ABCDEF teacher teaching , We don't believe in hitting students ... they may be armed.
Communications Communications , ,
Unemployment Unemployment , Notice Notice , Don't take it personally ... we're just doing what's best for the company.
Science Science , mice mice , I've got these scientists wrapped around my finger ... whenever I want food, I just ring this bell.
Science Science , car car , Dr. Shlombeck finally understands the relationship between time and space.
, For Sale Real Estate For Sale Real Estate , D'ya have any other survival skills?
Doctors Education Doctors Education , correspondence course correspondence course , I saw the ad on TV and they sent me everything I needed to learn.
Teamwork Teamwork , job description job description , The way I see it - your job is to make me look good, and mine is to make it seem worthwhile.
Initiative Productivity Initiative Productivity , flowers flowers , They don't want our opinions - we're just supposed to sit here and look pretty.
Leisure Persistence Safety Sports Leisure Persistence Safety Sports , alligator golf alligator golf , This time take the penalty.
Bureaucracy Bureaucracy , contractors contractors , Our contractors contracted to contractors who contracted with us to do the job.
Animals Dentistry , beavers , Floss?
Banks Banks , Business Loans Business Loans , It's a good business plan, but you put all your faith in the Tooth Fairy.
Unemployment Unemployment , discipline discipline , You're only being suspended - it's not like being fired or anything.
Initiative Innovation Initiative Innovation , chair chair , Every now and then, an ingenious employee finds a way to stand out from the crowd.
Animals Entertainment Recognition Animals Entertainment Recognition , car car , Rocky finally gets his 15 seconds of fame.
Effectiveness Effectiveness , diet diet , I don't think this company needs to trim the fat - it just needs more fiber.
Productivity Productivity , Packit Sardine Company Packit Sardine Company ,
Animals Technology Animals Technology , bell bell , She thinks she's important just because she wears a pager.
Health Health , exercise exercise , How can you sink a rowing machine?!
Competency Competency , Professionalism Professionalism , C'mon, Gary, I know you have the boss's ear ...
Quality Restaurants Quality Restaurants , Special Special , When not to order the catch of the day.
Ethics Ethics , Government Passport Office Government Passport Office , For an extra $50, I can make you 18 again.
Animals Initiative , monkeys , ... now get out there and network!
Travel Travel , Benefits bar Benefits bar , Hey, there's bar service!
Communications Technology Communications Technology , butler butler , You e-mailed me, sir?
Effectiveness Technology Effectiveness Technology , air dryer air dryer , Instructions 1 Turn Dryer On 2 Rub Hands Vigorously 3 Wipe Hands On Pants NO CAPTION
Productivity Reliability Productivity Reliability , shadow shadow , We're gonna miss Lumsden. He put in a lot of hours in this department.
Absenteeism Productivity Technology Absenteeism Productivity Technology , ant ant , We haven't seen him since he discovered the 'Net.
Recognition Recognition , award award , And, of course, I'd like to thank all the little people ...
Death Technology Death Technology , computer computer , It's worse than we thought - it's a total system failure.
Construction Effectiveness Construction Effectiveness , pyramid pyramid , It took 36 years to drag this over here, and now you say I got the wrong one?!
Animals Entertainment Animals Entertainment , Car Wash Car Wash , So, what do you city birds do for fun?
Training construction Training construction , , I hear you've been taking a sensitivity training course.
Doctors Health Doctors Health , Finance heart attack Finance heart attack , If you want my opinion, he shouldn't have sold short.
Death Television Death Television , casket casket , We couldn't get it out of his hand.
Effectiveness Managers Effectiveness Managers , bull bull , I don't know about you, but I'm tired of this same old bull.
Animals Change Animals Change , cow cow , After a career in dairy, I can see you in packaging.
Animals Marketing Service , children , It's the ice cream man!
Maintenance Innovation , Pest Control , If this doesn't work, we'll charge 'em rent.
Animals Safety Animals Safety , chicken chicken , Why, Harold?! Why, why, why ...
Quality Restaurants Service Quality Restaurants Service , waiter waiter , I'm Justin, your waiter, and you'll be trying to get my attention for the rest of the evening.
Resources Resources , Human Professionalism Human Professionalism , New here, huh?
Communications Reliability Communications Reliability , Daily Daily , It says here, 43% of people with freckles think newspaper polls are pointless.
Initiative Effectiveness , Dining Room Closet Living Room Kitchen Bed Room , We don't need movers - just $3,200 in postage stamps!
Technology Technology , computer computer , This is our first-generation computer nerd!
Death Travel Death Travel , Hell Hell , Most of us commute.
Doctors Effectiveness Doctors Effectiveness , Baldness Surgical Treatment Available Baldness Surgical Treatment Available , You mean you wanted hair?!
Teamwork Teamwork , , Teamwork NO CAPTION
Lawyers Psychiatry Lawyers Psychiatry , couch couch , Mr. Griezic can't make it today, so I'm here to represent his interests.
Communications Technology Communications Technology , beating beating , E-mail and conference calls are okay, but they lack the impact of a personal meeting.
Quality Sales Quality Sales , Hair Clinic Hair Clinic , We have two styles: ear-to-ear shag and outdoor rugs.
Innovation Restaurants Innovation Restaurants , Cafe Cafe , I hate nouvelle cuisine.
Crime Crime , convicts prison convicts prison , Must be one of those white-collar crime gangs.
Death Technology Television Death Technology Television , Crawford Crawford , He insisted we bury him with the remote control.
Banks Banks , , It just keeps laughing.
, Holidays car Holidays car , I see more of these loony drivers every holiday weekend.
Managers Persistence Managers Persistence , Management Grooming Management Grooming , No matter what people say, I've earned these pinstripes.
Competency Marriage Travel Competency Marriage Travel , directions directions , Don't you have a better map?
Maintenance Service Effectiveness , Escalator Repair , Don't panic. I'll have you down in no time!
Accounting Responsibility Safety Accounting Responsibility Safety , Bill Due Professionalism Bill Due Professionalism , Accounting wants to know why we had to replace the glass on the photocopier.
Communications Communications , Daily News Economy Daily News Economy , I think it says something about the cost of newsprint.
Planning Travel Planning Travel , airplane airplane , This really screws up our itinerary.
Entertainment Managers Recognition Entertainment Managers Recognition , microphone microphone , Management says they're gonna promote our top performers.
Reliability Technology Training Reliability Technology Training , MultiMedia Trade Show MultiMedia Trade Show , Due to technical difficulties, Sammy the puppet will tell you all about computer- assisted learning.
Death Miscellaneous Death Miscellaneous , Gate Gate , Geez, this line-up could go on forever.
Innovation Technology Innovation Technology , computers computers , That's right, sir, we use our computers for just about everything.
Productivity Technology Productivity Technology , automobile automobile , And with a mobile office, we've managed to streamline our operation.
Communications Technology Communications Technology , accident accident , Damn, I just get their voice mail.
Marriage Marriage , bed bed , How long d'ya intend on holding this grudge?
Animals Travel , , When pigs fly.
, Discipline demotion Discipline demotion , I hear you were demoted.
Marketing Sales Marketing Sales , Economy Trampoline Economy Trampoline , As you can see, it's an extremely volatile market.
Recognition Recognition , Professionalism Reception Professionalism Reception , This is one heck of a receptionist.
Effectiveness Technology Effectiveness Technology , Micro Computers Micro Computers , I still can't see the keyboard.
Animals Lawyers Pets Animals Lawyers Pets , court court , The pooch is right ... you abandoned him, so he gets the house.
Marketing Restaurants , MacHaggis , In the early years ... before Ronald knew what the public wanted.
Safety Travel Safety Travel , Security Baggage Check security Security Baggage Check security , Do you have any idea how long it took me to pack that suitcase?!
Animals Science Animals Science , Give Give , I told you he was smart.
Technology Technology , computer computer , It's a ransom note, all right ... the computer wants 64 megabytes of RAM deposited in a bank before noon.
Television Technology Entertainment , desert island , So, what d'ya want to do tonight?
Resources , Holidays Human Secretarial Pool , Geez, things really slow down around here in the summer.
Construction Planning Construction Planning , Creativity architect Creativity architect , What plans? That was just a doodle!
Change Marketing Service Change Marketing Service , dry cleaner dry cleaner , Invisible Mending NO CAPTION
Change Effectiveness Technology Change Effectiveness Technology , barbeque barbeque , A few more copies and I'll be done.
Animals Farming Innovation , Seeing Eye Cows , That's it ... just watch your step!
Change Recognition Change Recognition , Employee The Month Bongo Employee The Month Bongo ,
Absenteeism Change Health Absenteeism Change Health , ambulance ambulance , Remember, you need a note from the doctor.
Health , hypochondriac , Whatever you do, don't ask him how he is today.
Bureaucracy Change Bureaucracy Change , Bureaucrats Anonymous Bureaucrats Anonymous , Hi. My name is Dave, and I'm member #378-FC/29Y87.
Change Lawyers Unemployment Change Lawyers Unemployment , wrecking ball wrecking ball , I was right - they can't legally fire me!
Animals Change Evolution Animals Change Evolution , cows cows , Can't you see we've been domesticated?
Change Managers Change Managers , Professionalism Professionalism , Boss du Jour Steaming Mad With Mild Tantrums NO CAPTION
Change Motivation Restaurants Change Motivation Restaurants , Hollywood Diner Hollywood Diner , Okay, now explain to me again what my motivation is for this scene?
Change Managers Change Managers , Management Committee Management Committee , Nonsense - it only seems like eternity.
Change Courtesy Managers Change Courtesy Managers , cubicle cubicle , Keep Your Shoes On! The Management NO CAPTION
Animals Change Unions Animals Change Unions , Skweel Sausages Skweel Sausages , We're capitalist pigs, son - there's no reason to be ashamed of it.
Change Salary Unemployment Change Salary Unemployment , Performance Review Performance Review , Stop worrying about doing a good job - the big money is in severance pay!
Change Health Miscellaneous Safety Change Health Miscellaneous Safety , office romance office romance , I still don't see how this was a work-related accident.
Change Ethics Change Ethics , Power Suit Power Suit , Now remember, when he calls you 'dear' ... take him out.
Health Motivation , exercise , C'mon everybody - up and out and pull ...
Animals Change Resources Recruitment Animals Change Resources Recruitment , Human actor Human actor , I need a new agent.
Change Psychiatry Change Psychiatry , cameras cameras , I wouldn't be so paranoid if everyone wasn't out to get me.
advertising leisure , , Wilderness Camping Free Parking Low Rates Open 24 Hours NO CAPTION
Change Ethics Resources Change Ethics Resources , Human ginger bread man Human ginger bread man , I know he's a cookie - but we're an equal opportunity employer.
Change Innovation Sales Change Innovation Sales , Rent This Space Rent This Space , It costs a little more, but it'll pay for itself in six months!
Change Education Ethics Change Education Ethics , Chapel Chapel , It's not a bribe - but let's just say there's plenty more where that came from.
Change Travel Change Travel , , Geez, Harry, just once I'd like to go some- where without you looking like a tourist.
Change Technology Change Technology , Computer Computer , Computer De-Programmng NO CAPTION
Animals Change Technology Animals Change Technology , computer computer , Don't be silly, it's not a real human.
Change Innovation Marriage Change Innovation Marriage , bath bath , I'll bet you thought I was too cheap to buy a Jacuzzi.
Bureaucracy Change Leadership Bureaucracy Change Leadership , Executive Committee Executive Committee , All those in favor of making a decision ...
Change Managers Change Managers , Acting Manager Creativity Acting Manager Creativity , I'm afraid, Hedgewood, you haven't really grasped the concept here.
Change Technology Change Technology , Virtual Reality Virtual Reality , It's for the home business market. It gives the illusion of working in a crowded noisy office!
Change Sales Sales Training Training Change Sales Sales Training Training , Professionalism Professionalism , It's important to be sincere, whether you mean it or not.
Change Negotiations Change Negotiations , chicken chicken , It's a petition of some sort, but I can't make out this chicken scrawl.
Change Effectiveness Change Effectiveness , Drag Racing Drag Racing , I should have worn flats.
Change Maintenance Change Maintenance , car car , It just has to get me through the winter.
Change Competency Productivity Change Competency Productivity , Mattress Testing Professionalism Mattress Testing Professionalism , You were caught sleeping on the job again, Dexter.
Change Change , Discipline Discipline , I didn't think they could screw you this way.
Bureaucracy Change Productivity Bureaucracy Change Productivity , paperwork paperwork , It's a 30,000-page study that proves we don't need to change the way we work.
Animals Awareness Change Managers Animals Awareness Change Managers , ants ants , Listen, kid, I'm sure management would tell us if there was a problem.
Change Crime Change Crime , Creativity Professionalism break and enter Creativity Professionalism break and enter , I still don't see how dressing up makes it a white-collar crime.
Change Ethics Resources Change Ethics Resources , Human office romance Human office romance , I'm confused - if we date, is that harassment or overtime?
Change Marketing Service Change Marketing Service , Minute Laundry Minute Laundry , Geez, I can't believe we fell for this again.
advertising marketing , Eat , You see, it's marketing! This is why they're at the top of the food chain!
Change Change , Economic Forecast Economy Economic Forecast Economy , We'll see lower interest rates overnight, and a higher dollar by the weekend.
Banks Change Banks Change , apartment apartment , The bank repossessed your condo.
Accounting Change Education Accounting Accounting Change Education Accounting , Creativity School Creative Creativity School Creative , I like your use of dividends, and especially this payroll motif!
Change Planning Change Planning , Make More Money Make More Money , Frankly, Bob, we were expecting a more detailed sales plan.
Change Service Change Service , Customer Relations Customer Relations , It's okay to be sympathetic, but don't actually help anyone.
Change Philosophy Change Philosophy , Greed Good Greed Good , Don't expect warm and fuzzy platitudes around here, Fishbeck.
Service Quality , cigar , The desk clerk said you wanted a smoking room.
Teamwork Negotiations , cow , I vote we draw straws.
Change Competency Responsibility Change Competency Responsibility , sleep sleep , I suggested he pursue his dream.
Change Crime Ethics Change Crime Ethics , , And how do I know it isn't stolen?
Change Leadership Motivation Change Leadership Motivation , oars oars , One more time - row, row, row your boat ...
Change Innovation Religion Technology Change Innovation Religion Technology , caligraphy caligraphy , He's our new high-speed copier.
Productivity , , All those in favor of shorter meetings ...
Awareness Change Awareness Change , castaway castaway , You know, at first I didn't really believe we had an office in the Pacific Rim.
Change Restaurants Service Change Restaurants Service , soup soup , Would you like another finger bowl?
Accounting Change Accounting Change , Tales Accountant Tales Accountant , And this one is real scary ... he accidentally files a T-81 without completing Section 3.
Change Ethics Change Ethics , Benefits office theft retirement Benefits office theft retirement , After 25 years of loyal service, all I have is a crummy gold watch and $3 million in office supplies.
Advertising Change Technology Advertising Change Technology , , But your ad says pilots train on a computer flight simulator.
Change Crime Change Crime , Police Records Police Records , I see this isn't the first time you've been charged with contempt.
Absenteeism Change Doctors Health Absenteeism Change Doctors Health , doctor doctor , Just say I need plenty of rest and sunshine.
Change Entertainment Lawyers Change Entertainment Lawyers , Haunted House Haunted House , If this is a fake, I'm gonna sue.
Animals Change Unemployment Animals Change Unemployment , Benefits Severance Pay Benefits Severance Pay , They're right, Ralph - we have to give them two weeks' notice.
Change Motivation Change Motivation , Prozac Take One Daily Prozac Take One Daily , It's supposed to improve morale.
Change Ethics Resources Recruitment Change Ethics Resources Recruitment , Gay Cowboys For Christ Human Gay Cowboys For Christ Human , Yes, we do have a minority hiring policy ... why do you ask?
Change Retail Sales Change Retail Sales , blacksmith blacksmith , For a few dollars more, I can put you in an air-cushioned Nike.
Change Doctors Health Change Doctors Health , doctor doctor , It looks like chicken pox.
Change Miscellaneous animals Change Miscellaneous animals , , OK, on the count of three, everyone yell 'boo!' ...
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human camera Human camera , We put all new employees on probation.
Effectiveness Health Leadership , exercise , By delegating my fitness program, I can do 20 more miles a day!
Change Maintenance Reliability Change Maintenance Reliability , auto mechanic auto mechanic , It looks like a problem with your undercarriage.
Change Training Resources Training Change Training Resources Training , Employee Human Employee Human , First, we teach them the basics ...
Change Salary construction Change Salary construction , Creativity Creativity , I need the overtime.
Change Resources Recruitment Change Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , I don't know what to make of this, Tom - it's a recommendation from our competitor.
Change Productivity Change Productivity , coffee coffee , Management says our coffee breaks are too long.
Change Competency Change Competency , Give Morons Give Morons , Remember, it's a trick question if they ask what kind of idiot are you.
Change Leadership Responsibility Unemployment Change Leadership Responsibility Unemployment , , It's not easy ordering lay-offs ... but I guess that's why they pay me $8.3 million a year.
Animals Change Stress Animals Change Stress , rats rats , I'm telling you, honey - it's a human race out there!
Change Doctors Psychiatry Change Doctors Psychiatry , analysis analysis , The problem is, Doc, nobody ever listens to me!
Change Change , Discipline doll Discipline doll , You know the rules, Bizwell - no personal items on the desk!
Animals Change Technology Television Unions Animals Change Technology Television Unions , antenna antenna , Say 'No' To Cable NO CAPTION
Change Maintenance Service Change Maintenance Service , Bill Bill , We charge by the snowflake.
Health , Creativity Fitness Club , Oh, great! Now what do we do?
Insurance Change Insurance Leisure Sports Insurance Change Insurance Leisure Sports , Bisswell golf Bisswell golf , I know how you feel, sir, but we can't pay disability benefits for a 25 handicap.
Teamwork , heads , Let's put our heads together and come up with something big.
Change Communications Competency Change Communications Competency , Apple Pastry Icing Sugar Apple Pastry Icing Sugar , I know it's from the cafeteria, but this isn't the turnover we wanted you to study.
Awareness Travel Psychiatry , car , Personality Type A Type B NO CAPTION
Unemployment Unemployment , Employment Ads Professionalism Employment Ads Professionalism , You know, I really respect the way you spoke up when they asked for your opinion.
Advertising Ethics Marketing Advertising Ethics Marketing , Sale Sale , Stop Global Warming Buy Cool-Glow Air Conditioners NO CAPTION
Communications Communications , mail chute mail chute , They wanted to improve top-down communication.
Effectiveness Managers Effectiveness Managers , ball and chain ball and chain , My new boss is a control freak.
Courtesy Resources Miscellaneous , Human administration , Secret, Top Secret, Gossip NO CAPTION
Animals Marriage Animals Marriage , aquarium aquarium , I love you, but you never take me anywhere.
Leadership Leadership , Yes Yes , That's what we like about you, sir - there are no gray areas.
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human interrogation Human interrogation , OK, let's go over your resumŽ one last time.
Awareness Miscellaneous Awareness Miscellaneous , Men Who Wear Diapers Men Who Wear Diapers , We're out of the closet and ready to change the world!
construction construction , Discipline Discipline , Sure, we have an incentive plan - if you screw up, you're fired!
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Government Human Now Hiring Village Idiot Government Human Now Hiring Village Idiot , Do you have any experience working in the public sector?
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Windbreakers Human Manufacturing Windbreakers Human Manufacturing , We make jackets. What did you think we do?
, Discipline skyscraper Discipline skyscraper , Corporate Siberia.
Effectiveness Managers Effectiveness Managers , , The three levels of management.
Unions Negotiations , million Unfair , They don't realize I have a mortgage too.
Psychiatry Psychiatry , children children , What college? I'm saving for therapy.
Recognition Recognition , Worker Worker , You can call me Bob.
Absenteeism Ethics Travel , beach , That's right, sir - my temperature is 103 degrees.
Health Politics Unions Health Politics Unions , Nuke the Bomb Nuke the Bomb , These marches always attract fringe groups.
Resources Quality Recruitment Resources Quality Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , Of course I'm qualified ... I've had hundreds of jobs like this!
Restaurants Restaurants , buffet buffet , All You Can Eat Rice Cakes NO CAPTION
Lawyers Marriage Lawyers Marriage , annulment annulment , The marriage is invalid because I must have been insane when I married him.
Initiative Initiative , Creativity Creativity , Rumor has it, Filman, you've taken a second job.
Recognition Recognition , Benefits promotion Benefits promotion , It comes with the promotion, Ralph - the car, secretary and new friends.
Sales , mirror , Hey, it's true - you sales guys don't have a reflection.
Health Initiative Innovation Health Initiative Innovation , , Not too hard this time - the last idea gave me a concussion.
Awareness Crime Awareness Crime , , Keep a sharp eye - somebody here is stealing office supplies.
Travel , Earth Estates From 000 Real Estate , There's no way I'm gonna make this drive every day.
Entertainment Entertainment , band band , I hate these elevator music gigs.
Teamwork Unions Teamwork Unions , Union Union , I think these teamwork seminars are finally working!
Ethics Resources Recruitment Ethics Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , I didn't lie - I went to Harvard for my nephew's graduation.
Quality Restaurants Quality Restaurants , lobster lobster , How much more do you want it cooked?
Competency Technology Competency Technology , notes notes , Forget e-mail ... he still hasn't grasped sticky notes.
Marketing Sales Marketing Sales , Diaper Diaper , I'm afraid the market is completely saturated.
Psychiatry Psychiatry , Schlock Schlock , Don't worry, I don't charge my patients during the play-offs.
Training Training , chair chair , It comes with a manual, but we advise customers to take the training course.
Health Miscellaneous Health Miscellaneous , elderly nurse elderly nurse , He's talking 'bout his g-g-g-g-generation.
Competency Productivity Competency Productivity , , We're not saying you're lazy ... just motivationally challenged.
Innovation Innovation , airplane airplane , Cousin Leroy Wright gets little credit for creating the inflight meal.
Productivity Productivity , , In Out Ignore NO CAPTION
Animals Awareness Stress , Bar , Say, you're not one of those wolves in sheep's clothing, are you?!
, ABC Trust Mortgages Low Rates Loans Finance Real Estate ABC Trust Mortgages Low Rates Loans Finance Real Estate , Would you like it frozen or as a float?
, Professionalism report Professionalism report , All I did was ask about the weather!
Technology Television Technology Television , Professionalism computer Professionalism computer , How did you get 'Days of Our Lives' on your computer?
Animals Recognition Animals Recognition , Top Sirloin the Month Top Sirloin the Month , Top Sirloin of the Month NO CAPTION
Doctors Health Lawyers Doctors Health Lawyers , hospital hospital , The doctor says you'll be fine, but our lawyer wants a second opinion.
Sales Sales , casket casket , Frank's Mortuary 30 Day Free Trial NO CAPTION
Safety Safety , accident accident , So, what you're saying is, you stapled your hand to the safety report.
Marriage Psychiatry Marriage Psychiatry , couch couch , My wife gave me this list of character flaws she wants you to fix.
Communications Communications , Your Fly Open Professionalism Your Fly Open Professionalism , Bob unwittingly shares his colleague's strategic advice.
Quality Restaurants Service Quality Restaurants Service , House Crab Special House Crab Special , What did you expect - seafood?!
Productivity Productivity , Out Professionalism Out Professionalism , Does this company have an incentive program?
Courtesy Communications , You Are Here Now Get Out , You Are Here Now Get Out! NO CAPTION
Training Productivity Training Training Productivity Training , Potty Potty , I wish they wouldn't send us on every skill development course that comes along.
Competency Safety Competency Safety , Bee Farm Bee Farm , How many times do I have to tell you not to eat jelly sandwiches on the job.
Innovation Safety , arrow , Target practice, huh?
Marriage Communications Awareness , Happy 40th Birthday Sue , Just when I thought I knew nothing about women, someone comes along and makes me think I should write a book.
Unemployment Unemployment Unemployment Unemployment , Office Registration Office Registration , Sheesh, I didn't do this much work when I had a job!
Technology Technology , photocopier photocopier , Finally, a photocopier for Post-It Notes.
Animals Responsibility Animals Responsibility , deer deer , The Buck Stops Here NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Quality Effectiveness Quality , barber barber , Your regular barber was let go for 'gross incompetence.'
, Discipline alligator Discipline alligator , Now that you mention it, they did warn me I'd be swamped when I got back.
Death Lawyers Death Lawyers , Smith Johnson Pteres Edward Norman Barken Berman Farmen Anderson Smith Johnson Pteres Edward Norman Barken Berman Farmen Anderson , And we're particularly proud of our legal department.
Animals Courtesy Animals Courtesy , bear reception telephone bear reception telephone , They just stepped out for a second ... can I take a message?
Recognition Sales Recognition Sales , Benefits award Benefits award , For outstanding sales in excess of $5 million, here's your free dinner for two at Denny's.
Lawyers Lawyers , , You mean, we get a royalty every time someone says it?
Competency Travel Competency Travel , astronauts astronauts , Mission Control accidentally sent your luggage to Pluto.
Effectiveness Training Effectiveness Training , Ace Driving School Ace Driving School , Say, these bumpers don't work very well.
Banks Banks , Mortgages Mortgages , What d'ya mean you're gonna foreclose?
Negotiations Religion Unions Negotiations Religion Unions , demands demands , Okay, but the membership still has to ratify it.
Religion Unemployment Unemployment Religion Unemployment Unemployment , Benefits Benefits , I prayed for guidance, but was fired for going over my supervisor's head.
Service Service , , Complaints Complaints About Complaints NO CAPTION
Technology Technology , puppet puppet , Oh, you wanted a wireless remote ...
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human dungeon Human dungeon , This isn't gonna look good on my resumŽ.
Doctors Innovation Doctors Innovation , Creativity Dermatology Creativity Dermatology , I can prescribe moisturizers, but you'd still make a terrific handbag.
Initiative Innovation Initiative Innovation , Moto 5000 Moto 5000 , Put that away before somebody sees you.
Crime Lawyers Crime Lawyers , Parker Criminal Lawyer Parker Criminal Lawyer , If you ask me, it's redundant.
Teamwork Teamwork , hand hand , Williams, I'd like you to meet my right-hand man ...
Innovation Innovation , Ajax Dictionary Publishers Ajax Dictionary Publishers , We've got all these words! If only we could put them in some kind of order ...
Retail Retail , Department Department , I'm looking for a leisure suit.
Motivation Motivation , acrobat acrobat , Some days I dream of quitting the circus and joining the rat race.
Health Unions Health Unions , , The union wishes you a speedy recovery, by a vote of 83 to 79.
Animals Awareness Animals Awareness , cow cow , Do you consider yourself to be a white cow with black spots, or a black cow with white spots?
Miscellaneous Miscellaneous , Discipline alligator Discipline alligator , I don't care if it is an ecosystem - the waterfall and reptiles have to go.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , It's not a layoff ... it's a workforce adjustment.
Reliability Safety Stress Reliability Safety Stress , Crossing Guard Crossing Guard , After 30 years on the job, Lester finally snaps.
Training Productivity , , Parking Lot Attendant School NO CAPTION
Leisure Persistence Leisure Persistence , fish fish , Optimist Club '95 NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Effectiveness , Holidays christmas Holidays christmas , We've reorganized.
Effectiveness Planning Productivity Technology Effectiveness Planning Productivity Technology , Professionalism Some Day Postpone Meetings Extend Deadlines Fake Sick Blam Professionalism Some Day Postpone Meetings Extend Deadlines Fake Sick Blam , You were right, sir - I needed a work plan.
Managers , Keep Nose Clean , The secret to middle management success.
Animals Managers Animals Managers , bird bird , Sure, he repeats only what they tell him ... he wouldn't be in management if he didn't.
Sports Technology Sports Technology , boxer boxer , The computer says you're a bum.
Communications Technology Communications Technology , cubicle cubicle , Why don't you reply to my e-mail?
Animals Competency , Holidays christmas , He still has trouble with re-entry.
Animals Farming Animals Farming , cow cow , On high tech farms, they call this downloading.
Philosophy Religion Philosophy Religion , children children , What's 'agnostic'?
Education Education , Clown School Clown School , And now I'd like to present Marvin, our class straight-man.
Unemployment , Discipline cooking , At the last place I worked, if you screwed up they just fired you.
Teamwork Teamwork , Professionalism spot light Professionalism spot light , It's getting harder to deal with his ego.
Doctors Doctors , Professionalism accident Professionalism accident , If you want my professional opinion, use a number 8 screwdriver.
Accounting Accounting , cloud cloud , Accounting says it'll be with me for the rest of the fiscal year.
Animals Farming Initiative Innovation Animals Farming Initiative Innovation , Slow Med Fast Slow Med Fast , Finbeck's career at the dairy was cut short after the milk shake fiasco.
Resources Resources , Human galley Human galley , It's cheaper to hire locals.
Education Education , Report Card Report Card , You see, son, it's just that your grade reflects badly on us.
Courtesy Ethics Courtesy Ethics , nose nose , It keeps getting caught in other people's business.
Retail Retail , Wear Wear , Do you have anything that goes with this tie?
Effectiveness Productivity Effectiveness Productivity , , Urgent Very Urgent It's Too Late NO CAPTION
Training Training , galley galley , I hate these on-the-job training programs.
Communications Technology Communications Technology , Wilson Wears Rug Wilson Wears Rug , ... and I hope by now you're all aware of our company policy about using e-mail to spread office gossip.
Courtesy Technology Courtesy Technology , computer computer , The computer says I have bad breath.
Death Death , RIP RIP , It says here he leaves behind a company car, two secretaries and a six-figure income with stock options.
Animals Entertainment , hippopotamus , You're the one who wanted to be in show business.
Technology Technology , chair chair , It's a coffee warmer I picked up from the government surplus store.
Safety Safety , knife knife , I told you not to turn your back on the audience.
Construction Construction , architect architect , I know we're on a tight budget, but I think you've cut too many corners.
Courtesy Courtesy , gossip gossip , You can come back in now ... we're finished talking about you.
Leadership Marriage Religion , President CEO , By the authority vested in me by the Board of Directors ....
Death Doctors Lawyers Death Doctors Lawyers , Brown Fritz Was Not Responsible For THis Brown Fritz Was Not Responsible For THis , There was an out-of-court settlement.
Lawyers Responsibility Lawyers Responsibility , desert island desert island , Just my luck ... jury duty.
Health Miscellaneous Health Miscellaneous , bees bees , You may get a buzz from these artificial flowers, but the hangover is murder.
Managers Managers , , I'm really touched, Grimsby, that you keep my picture right here next to your mother-in-law.
Education Science Education Science , classroom classroom , After teaching first-year Physics for 25 years, Professor Morgan takes a temporary leave from his faculty.
Responsibility Sales Travel Responsibility Sales Travel , vacation vacation , Funny how all your sales contacts are in Bermuda.
Courtesy Negotiations Unions Courtesy Negotiations Unions , More More , It can't hurt.
Bureaucracy Productivity , airplane crash , Now that we're all here, we can continue with our meeting.
Doctors Health Doctors Health , doctor doctor , Well, your X-rays confirm it - there's a thin man inside of you trying to get out.
Doctors Health Technology Television Doctors Health Technology Television , couch potato couch potato , The doctor says I need exercise, so I got the heaviest remote they had.
Courtesy , sandwich , It's just like you to bring only one napkin!
Absenteeism Religion Absenteeism Religion , Holidays galley Holidays galley , It must be a Jewish holiday.
Unemployment Unemployment , dismisal dismisal , That's odd ... I don't remember requesting a leave without pay.
Absenteeism Health Absenteeism Health , bed bed , Geez, I hate wasting sick leave being sick.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Human broom closet Human broom closet , I'm keeping a low profile until they finish trimming the budget.
Animals Innovation Animals Innovation , blind dog blind dog , In his later years, Rex was grateful for his seeing-eye duck.
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Creativity Human exray Creativity Human exray , Thank you for your resumŽ and ... oh, I see you attached your sick mother's X-rays.
Unions Crime , astronauts , Hey! Isn't that Jimmy Hoffa?
Leadership Motivation Responsibility Leadership Motivation Responsibility , dishes dishes , Explain again the part about how you've empowered me to assume greater decision-making authority.
Quality Quality , Dead Mice Manufacturing Dead Mice Manufacturing , I suppose you thought they got in there by accident.
Animals Ethics Science Animals Ethics Science , Genetic Research Genetic Research , It will be man's best friend and can produce eight quarts of milk a day.
Awareness Doctors Health Awareness Doctors Health , Memorial Hospital Memorial Hospital , There's still no conclusive evidence that it's a health risk.
Planning Productivity Planning Productivity , Feeding Frenzy Feeding Frenzy , Geez, I don't know how we ever did it without a strategic plan?
Marriage Psychiatry , court , He wasn't like this when I married him!
Education Education , Chicken Farm Call Chicken Farm Call ,
Health Productivity Health Productivity , armchair armchair , It just happens to be ergonomically correct.
Health Psychiatry Health Psychiatry , Prozac Prozac , All I can see now are donuts without holes!
Travel Travel , aliens aliens , It's the sixth planet past the sun ... you can't miss it.
Animals Change Evolution Animals Change Evolution , City Zoo City Zoo , We've been reorganized ... so you guys will have to double as mountain gorillas starting Monday.
Health Health , Benefits Holidays calendar Benefits Holidays calendar , Say, I have enough sick leave for a week in the Bahamas!
Effectiveness Effectiveness , Power Breakfast Special Professionalism Power Breakfast Special Professionalism , He's more of a let's-do-lunch person.
Animals Competency Pets , dogs , I've seen it happen before: One bad decision, and the company goes to the dogs.
Service , Galaxy Express Deliveries , Your neighbor isn't home, and I wonder if I can leave this for him.
Safety Innovation , Scenic Sewer Tours , Remember to stay together, and please don't touch the exhibits.
Managers Recognition , , Personally, I like the feedback.
Responsibility Safety Teamwork Responsibility Safety Teamwork , commuting commuting , Sorry, Henry, maybe the car pool won't be so crowded tomorrow.
Initiative Quality Science Teamwork Initiative Quality Science Teamwork , lab lab , I think you should forget about this organic shampoo idea.
Animals Change Education Pets Animals Change Education Pets , Dog Economics 101 Dog Economics 101 , Remember when all we had to do was fetch?
Competency Resources Productivity Responsibility Competency Resources Productivity Responsibility , Human Manufacturing factory Human Manufacturing factory , Hey, Vinnie, wake up. The boss wants to know if you're willing to work overtime.
Effectiveness Resources Initiative Leadership Effectiveness Resources Initiative Leadership , Discipline Human commando Discipline Human commando , Someone is stealing paper clips on the second floor. Take 'em out.
Ethics Ethics , Real Estate indian Real Estate indian , Say, do you folks have a real estate agent?
Resources Innovation Productivity Resources Innovation Productivity , Discipline Human Professionalism clock Discipline Human Professionalism clock , You are late NO CAPTION
Leadership Managers Responsibility Leadership Managers Responsibility , Discipline island Discipline island , Even though we're shipwrecked with no chance of survival, I'm still your boss!
Awareness Maintenance Safety Service Awareness Maintenance Safety Service , kitchen kitchen , They still haven't found that missing refrigerator repair man.
advertising marketing , Cat , Do we really need a showroom?
Competency Managers Productivity Responsibility Competency Managers Productivity Responsibility , couch couch , I think you're getting too comfortable in your position here, Wilson.
Awareness Innovation Awareness Innovation , Minute Laundry Minute Laundry , Damn! I left a Kleenex in my pocket.
Evolution Initiative Innovation Quality Restaurants Service Evolution Initiative Innovation Quality Restaurants Service , trough trough , It's the latest trend in fast food.
Awareness Productivity Safety Awareness Productivity Safety , stair well stair well , You mean you've been locked in this stairway for three years?
Initiative Maintenance Persistence Risk Safety Technology Initiative Maintenance Persistence Risk Safety Technology , ledge ledge , I'm sure the elevators will be fixed soon.
Competency Health Competency Health , , It's your office. They want to know if you can stay home a few more days.
Education Innovation Education Innovation , cavemen cavemen , Is that what I sent you to college for?
Communications Courtesy Resources Unemployment Communications Courtesy Resources Unemployment , Human puppet Human puppet , ... Are you trying to tell me I'm fired?
Communications Competency Effectiveness Initiative Communications Competency Effectiveness Initiative , Manufacturing factory Manufacturing factory , Readable? I thought you wanted my report to be eatable!
Crime Planning Travel Crime Planning Travel , Bus Stop Bus Stop , Relax! It'll be here any second.
Planning Quality Service Travel Planning Quality Service Travel , airplane airplane , They overbook every time I fly.
Leisure Leisure , fire fire , What does the flashing red light mean?
Ethics Ethics , Finance beggar Finance beggar , Care to make a donation to a non-profitable corporation?
Initiative Innovation Politics Teamwork Initiative Innovation Politics Teamwork , island island , We could start by building a railway!
Competency Effectiveness Leisure Safety Competency Effectiveness Leisure Safety , Glenview Rod Gun Club Glenview Rod Gun Club , You can wear Ted's jacket. He won't be here this year.
Animals Persistence Safety Teamwork Animals Persistence Safety Teamwork , Discipline bear Discipline bear , C'mon guys. We'll never get this done if you don't stop running around!
Marketing Quality Restaurants Marketing Quality Restaurants , Consultant Consultant , I'm not sure, but I think it's a marketing problem.
Technology Television Technology Television , , It's no use, Murray. You can't change channels with a cordless phone.
Health Managers Responsibility Safety Health Managers Responsibility Safety , dead fish dead fish , Sometimes I think management has no regard for our welfare.
Resources Managers Recognition Resources Managers Recognition , Creativity Human angel wings Creativity Human angel wings , It's our new employee recognition award.
Absenteeism Managers Responsibility Absenteeism Managers Responsibility , axe axe , You're late, Bizley! And that ax murderer excuse won't work this time.
Motivation Teamwork Motivation Teamwork , Holidays galley ship Holidays galley ship , Say, do we get Labor Day off?
Planning Planning , Beer Beer , Hey pal, got an opener?
Communications Competency Crime Marriage Communications Competency Crime Marriage , Professionalism cell phone Professionalism cell phone , I told you never to call me at work.
Initiative Innovation Initiative Innovation , Creativity Plumbing Creativity Plumbing , I call it, 'Summer Song.'
Competency Construction Safety Competency Construction Safety , electrician electrician , Maybe it was the red and black ones I wasn't supposed to cross.
Competency Construction Planning Competency Construction Planning , architect architect , The dog ate it.
Accounting Innovation Accounting Innovation , Finance Finance , In case of cash flow problems break glass. NO CAPTION
Change Effectiveness Resources Managers Technology Unemployment Change Effectiveness Resources Managers Technology Unemployment , Human Human , This microchip is replacing you, Figwood. But if it makes you feel better, it doesn't work either.
Courtesy Leadership Managers Courtesy Leadership Managers , Professionalism Professionalism , H.G. Hodson President Come in sit down and shut up. NO CAPTION
Negotiations Unions Negotiations Unions , Bigger Crumbs Finance Bigger Crumbs Finance , I'm telling ya, these are the first signs of inflation.
Effectiveness Retail Sales Effectiveness Retail Sales , suit suit , I bought it on an installment plan.
Health Productivity Health Productivity , desk desk , And you thought they wouldn't give us an exercise room.
Effectiveness Marriage Persistence Effectiveness Marriage Persistence , holidays holidays , Every Labor Day, after much nagging, Harold takes down the Christmas tree.
Responsibility Responsibility , Finance Professionalism paper bag Finance Professionalism paper bag , So, Bob, tell us about our financial picture.
Resources Resources , Benefits Human cement Benefits Human cement , Hey, look guys! The company is gonna build us an exercise room.
Technology Innovation Technology Innovation , cow cow , Fresh Milk NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Health Innovation Effectiveness Health Innovation , clothes line clothes line , This was the only drug rehabilitation center I could afford.
Animals Farming Negotiations Unions Animals Farming Negotiations Unions , cow cow , It was this or a union.
, ,
Change Change , Economy Finance birds Economy Finance birds , Crumbs were much bigger before the recession.
Recognition Recognition , Wall Honor Wall Honor , I should have taken the watch.
Competency Recognition Teamwork Competency Recognition Teamwork , 10th Annual Dead Wood Awards 10th Annual Dead Wood Awards , ... and I'd like to thank everyone who did my job for me.
Entertainment Sales Technology Television Entertainment Sales Technology Television , cavemen cavemen , ... but the salesman said it's the latest thing in cave entertainment!
Evolution Lawyers Evolution Lawyers , Our Founders Professionalism Our Founders Professionalism , At Grog Thor and Grok, we take pride in being the oldest law firm in the country.
Teamwork Teamwork , Conflict Conflict , You've got only three weeks to retirement. You hit him.
Leisure Managers Leisure Managers , Professionalism children Professionalism children , NO CAPTION kid on toy horse
Competency Managers Competency Managers , Professionalism Professionalism , Damn it, Grimwell, you won't get anywhere if you let people treat you like a doormat.
Education Evolution Education Evolution , cave woman cave woman , Here's the history book I borrowed.
Communications Ethics Risk Communications Ethics Risk , Alien holds mortgage earth Professionalism Alien holds mortgage earth Professionalism , We can't print this, Frank. It's too close to the truth.
Effectiveness Innovation Marketing Effectiveness Innovation Marketing , Bargain Bonds Finance Bargain Bonds Finance , ... and Consolidated Steel is giving away a free pizza with every 10,000 shares!
Animals Awareness Ethics Quality Animals Awareness Ethics Quality , Manufacturing Skweel Sausage Manufacturing Skweel Sausage , Do you ever wonder what they put in these things?
Crime Lawyers Safety Crime Lawyers Safety , court court , Your Honor, my client, Flamo the Magnificent, is not a threat to society.
Competency Resources Recruitment Competency Resources Recruitment , Human Human , I was laid off during my job interview.
Competency Construction Planning Competency Construction Planning , aligator aligator , Say, this isn't 35th and Main.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Andrews Fired Human Andrews Fired Human , Don't take this personally.
Communications Effectiveness Psychiatry Technology Communications Effectiveness Psychiatry Technology , cell phones cell phones , I like to talk to myself.
Doctors Ethics Health Insurance Reliability Doctors Ethics Health Insurance Reliability , doctor doctor , Your insurance covers only our cheapest bypass valves.
Retail Sales Retail Sales , House Chain Saws House Chain Saws , Does it come in a pastel?
Animals Crime Farming Initiative Teamwork Animals Crime Farming Initiative Teamwork , cows cows , Out of our way, farm boy! We want what's in the silo.
Communications Managers Communications Managers , Professionalism Professionalism , Henderson, I think you misunderstood our dress code.
Change Competency Resources Managers Change Competency Resources Managers , Human move Human move , Sure, we'll tell you the location of the new office. Just give us a few more days.
Awareness Change Communications Awareness Change Communications , Finance Our Company Finance Our Company , Duffy sure has a way with visual aids.
Ethics Insurance Responsibility Ethics Insurance Responsibility , blame blame , No-Fault Insurance Convention NO CAPTION
Crime Ethics Initiative Miscellaneous Safety Crime Ethics Initiative Miscellaneous Safety , Professionalism gun Professionalism gun , Seeing you brought the gun, Norman, why don't you start the meeting?
Crime Politics Recognition Crime Politics Recognition , Government muggers Government muggers , Say, didn't I vote for you last year?
Initiative Innovation Marketing Technology Initiative Innovation Marketing Technology , Toy Department Toy Department , And it runs on remote control!
Change Evolution Farming Innovation Change Evolution Farming Innovation , Manufacturing bar code Manufacturing bar code , Inventory control, Fran. Can't wait to show you the barn.
Competency Doctors Health Competency Doctors Health , doctor doctor , You've got a disease I can't pronounce.
Effectiveness Ethics Insurance Persistence Effectiveness Ethics Insurance Persistence , mutants mutants , Once these guys find out where you live, there's no getting rid of them.
Health Quality Restaurants Safety Health Quality Restaurants Safety , Chili Chili , No thanks, it gives me heartburn.
Initiative Persistence Sales Initiative Persistence Sales , flamingo flamingo , I'm telling you, every hut has one!
Animals Effectiveness Ethics Farming Animals Effectiveness Ethics Farming , sheep sheep , His brother knows the owner.
Courtesy Initiative Persistence Sales Courtesy Initiative Persistence Sales , , Ms. Kelsey, did you get rid of that annoying salesman yet?
Ethics Resources Safety Science Ethics Resources Safety Science , Human Human , Let me guess - you've been transferred from Research and Development.
Banks Competency Recruitment Banks Competency Recruitment , mohawk mohawk , ... and what exactly did you do at the Funky Chicken Credit Union?
Bureaucracy Effectiveness Productivity Bureaucracy Effectiveness Productivity , , Let me get this straight - the only thing this committee has decided is to form a new committee.
Change Initiative Marketing Change Initiative Marketing , aliens aliens , Greetings. We seek new markets.
Change Competency Resources Innovation Change Competency Resources Innovation , Human bathroom Human bathroom , We installed some new equipment in your office while you were away.
Animals Change Effectiveness Farming Marriage Productivity Animals Change Effectiveness Farming Marriage Productivity , Home Sweet Home Home Sweet Home , Okay, okay, I'm a workaholic.
Accounting Change Competency Ethics Accounting Change Competency Ethics , , I'm sorry, Mr. Grimswell, you can't write off your son as a loss.
Change Initiative Innovation Technology Change Initiative Innovation Technology , cave cave , Okay, so what else does it do?
Accounting Change Communications Managers Accounting Change Communications Managers , athlete athlete , Send in Furlow. I have some numbers to run by him.
Competency Effectiveness Innovation Teamwork Competency Effectiveness Innovation Teamwork , Product Testing Product Testing , Okay, okay ... but it's my turn next!
Change Innovation Marriage Technology Change Innovation Marriage Technology , bed bed , I don't think we need a computer to solve our marital problems.
Change Innovation Quality Restaurants Service Change Innovation Quality Restaurants Service , extinguisher extinguisher , It's our soup of the day.
Change Health Resources Stress Change Health Resources Stress , Human burnt Human burnt , I'm not sure, but I'd say it's job burn out.
Animals Change Ethics Responsibility Animals Change Ethics Responsibility , Manufacturing fish Manufacturing fish , Some days, I just don't feel good about this job.
Change Quality Unemployment Change Quality Unemployment , Finance homeless Finance homeless , I hate when they give us junk bonds.
Change Crime Effectiveness Initiative Innovation Persistence Risk Change Crime Effectiveness Initiative Innovation Persistence Risk , jail prison jail prison , Good luck, Eddie.
Change Crime Ethics Lawyers Change Crime Ethics Lawyers , court court , Of course I know the penalty for perjury, but I'd be in more trouble if I told the truth.
Change Initiative Persistence Recognition Change Initiative Persistence Recognition , Desk Desk , Bob finally gets the recognition he deserves.
Change Effectiveness Innovation Change Effectiveness Innovation , paper paper , We're trying to reduce the paperwork.
Change Resources Innovation Productivity Recruitment Change Resources Innovation Productivity Recruitment , Human big head Human big head , So, you're the new ideas man ...
Change Effectiveness Leisure Productivity Change Effectiveness Leisure Productivity , hunting hunting , Okay Smiley, send in the ducks.
Change Innovation Insurance Safety Change Innovation Insurance Safety , mattress mattress , It keeps our insurance premiums down.
Animals Change Leadership Managers Animals Change Leadership Managers , sheep sheep , It seems to me this company lacks leadership.
Animals Change Effectiveness Farming Resources Unemployment Animals Change Effectiveness Farming Resources Unemployment , Human cows Human cows , They laid off the horses last week.
Awareness Change Competency Safety Awareness Change Competency Safety , airplane airplane , Yeah, we heard it up here too!
Change Competency Managers Reliability Change Competency Managers Reliability , airport airport , Tell me things went well in Chicago, Rimstead.
Change Innovation Religion Technology Change Innovation Religion Technology , Moses Moses , Does it come on disk?
Animals Change Ethics Innovation Safety Animals Change Ethics Innovation Safety , mouse mouse , ... and the guys down the hall are working on the trap.
Change Competency Safety Teamwork Change Competency Safety Teamwork , burn burn , Never mind. Now it's working.
Change Communications Initiative Unions Change Communications Initiative Unions , slave ship slave ship , Pssst. 'Union,' pass it on.
Change Resources Managers Recognition Change Resources Managers Recognition , Human His Name Human His Name , Nonsense ... after 25 years, you deserve it!
Animals Change Effectiveness Pets Travel Animals Change Effectiveness Pets Travel , airplane airplane , ... and then they cut my travel allowance.
Absenteeism Awareness Change Resources Managers Absenteeism Awareness Change Resources Managers , Human meetings Human meetings , ... and now I'd like to discuss new ways to fight our absenteeism problem.
Bureaucracy Change Innovation Bureaucracy Change Innovation , Art Grants Government Art Grants Government , Well it may not be art to you!
Change Safety Technology Change Safety Technology , computer computer , I don't know ... the last time I saw Binkman, he was surfing the Net.
Accounting Change Competency Crime Ethics Accounting Change Competency Crime Ethics , jail jail , I thought 'good accounting practices' was just a suggestion.
Change Effectiveness Resources Leadership Motivation Change Effectiveness Resources Leadership Motivation , Human ledge Human ledge , He was in charge of employee morale.
Change Health Managers Stress Unemployment Change Health Managers Stress Unemployment , ledge ledge , Before you go, could you tell me where you put the Kenshaw file?
Training Training , cartoons unicycle cartoons unicycle , Okay, that's good. Now smile ...
Change Competency Resources Quality Change Competency Resources Quality , Human recycle Human recycle , They're going back to Personnel.
Change Leisure Change Leisure , February Holidays romance February Holidays romance , Oh, umm, we were just going over some files.
Change Communications Initiative Innovation Technology Change Communications Initiative Innovation Technology , cans cans , It's our new telephone system. Notice how long the string is this time.
Change Psychiatry Technology Change Psychiatry Technology , computer computer , Tell me about your first program.
Animals Change Resources Initiative Recruitment Animals Change Resources Initiative Recruitment , Human alien Human alien , He says he likes to work with people.
Change Health Resources Unions Change Health Resources Unions , Human shifts Human shifts , Say Ed, how long have you been on nights?
Change Evolution Recognition Change Evolution Recognition , portrait portrait , Our Founder NO CAPTION
Change Resources Leisure Sports Travel Change Resources Leisure Sports Travel , Holidays Human skiing Holidays Human skiing , I can't wait to tell Simmons I finally got his vacation switched to July.
Change Construction Resources Recruitment Change Construction Resources Recruitment , Egyptian Government Human Egyptian Government Human , ... and then he suggested a career in the public service.
Animals Change Construction Effectiveness Safety Animals Change Construction Effectiveness Safety , bear bear , I wasn't gonna to ask him to move!
Animals Change Lawyers Animals Change Lawyers , chicken chicken , Excuse me, Your Honor, but I believe I was here first.
Change Resources Managers Productivity Quality Change Resources Managers Productivity Quality , Human slave Human slave , Mr. Simms is our new quality control supervisor.
Change Innovation Technology Change Innovation Technology , robot robot , Dexter Ringwall creates the X-91 in his own image.
Change Death Evolution Change Death Evolution , angel angel , I don't know ... somehow I thought it would be different.
Bureaucracy Change Ethics Persistence Bureaucracy Change Ethics Persistence , Finance Government ballet Finance Government ballet , I see your art grant finally came through.
Animals Change Effectiveness Service Animals Change Effectiveness Service , barber barber , Just take a little off the top.
Animals Change Effectiveness Innovation Service Animals Change Effectiveness Innovation Service , cow cow , We cut out the middleman.
Animals Change Maintenance Safety Animals Change Maintenance Safety , ladder ladder , It makes kind of a growling sound.
Awareness Change Safety Awareness Change Safety , Buttmore Manufacturing Buttmore Manufacturing , Sorry, Grimsby, this is a smoke-free workplace.
Change Communications Religion Technology Change Communications Religion Technology , God God , It's from Him.
Change Competency Effectiveness Leadership Managers Change Competency Effectiveness Leadership Managers , baby baby , I hate when he calls these lunch meetings.
Awareness Change Quality Restaurants Service Awareness Change Quality Restaurants Service , fire fire , There, I think he sees us now.
Change Death Resources Change Death Resources , Benefits Human coffin Benefits Human coffin , Psst ... Harry, does our benefit plan cover this?
Change Recognition Technology Change Recognition Technology , computer computer , What d'ya mean artificial intelligence?!
Change Innovation Managers Planning Change Innovation Managers Planning , Manufacturing architect Manufacturing architect , Love the idea, Bingham. But where do we get the tiny workers?
Change Lawyers Change Lawyers , Government court Government court , I understand, but I would hardly call the summer months unconstitutional.
Change Death Religion Travel Change Death Religion Travel , Benefits Hell Benefits Hell , Frequent flier points. Why do you ask?
Change Miscellaneous Science Change Miscellaneous Science , iron mining iron mining , Wow! This is the biggest iron deposit I've ever seen.
, ,
Change Recognition Salary Change Recognition Salary , cartoons check cartoons check , Good news, Smitsberg! The boss agrees you deserve a bigger paycheck.
Change Competency Construction Innovation Change Competency Construction Innovation , architect architect , I don't understand ... it works on paper.
Change Dentistry Ethics Quality Service Change Dentistry Ethics Quality Service , , Hey, is it lunch time already?
Bureaucracy Change Competency Effectiveness Managers Productivity Bureaucracy Change Competency Effectiveness Managers Productivity , paperwork paperwork , Kenshaw, about this brief you sent me ...
Change Initiative Innovation Reliability Technology Change Initiative Innovation Reliability Technology , automobile automobile , This electric car was not one of your better ideas.
Change Effectiveness Innovation Change Effectiveness Innovation , dynamite dynamite , Say, what are you guys using for bait?
Change Effectiveness Evolution Innovation Sales Change Effectiveness Evolution Innovation Sales , inflatable inflatable , C'mon kid, nobody rolls their own anymore.
Change Quality Service Travel Change Quality Service Travel , alien alien , ... and check the oil.
Absenteeism Change Death Health Responsibility Absenteeism Change Death Health Responsibility , grave grave , I told you I was sick NO CAPTION
Change Competency Responsibility Change Competency Responsibility , hanging hanging , No need to worry, Milrod. We all make mistakes.
Change Competency Ethics Recruitment Responsibility Change Competency Ethics Recruitment Responsibility , blame blame , Bently, here, has been the scapegoat for some of the top companies in America.
Change Managers Persistence Change Managers Persistence , bathtub bathtub , Harris, you're taking my open door policy a bit too far.
Change Initiative Innovation Marketing Sales Change Initiative Innovation Marketing Sales , desert desert , I'm telling you, people really go for this stuff.
Death Health Death Health , Hell Hell , Oh, I'm sorry, this is a non-smoking area.
Entertainment Leisure Technology Television Entertainment Leisure Technology Television , remote control remote control , Do we really need all those channels?
Health Resources Recruitment Health Resources Recruitment , Human Manufacturing overweight Human Manufacturing overweight , So, how long did you work at the Mrs. Gooey Cookie Factory?
Communications Innovation Technology Communications Innovation Technology , time time , With this new gizmo, you can send it yesterday.
Ethics Lawyers Technology Ethics Lawyers Technology , court court , Are you programmed to compute the truth, the whole truth ...
Absenteeism Innovation Productivity Absenteeism Innovation Productivity , bathroom bathroom , It'll cut down on the number of work breaks!
Marketing Persistence Retail Sales Marketing Persistence Retail Sales , desert island desert island , Maybe I need a bigger sign.
Resources Initiative Motivation Sales Resources Initiative Motivation Sales , Human chains Human chains , It says here you're an enthusiastic salesperson.
Animals Communications Competency Lawyers Pets Animals Communications Competency Lawyers Pets , bird bird , Bently, you idiot! I said hire a paralegal.
Initiative Innovation Safety Technology Initiative Innovation Safety Technology , photocopier photocopier , If you turn it up to 'high', you can make hot dogs.
Effectiveness Managers Persistence Technology Effectiveness Managers Persistence Technology , , I see Purchasing finally got you that pocket calculator.
Health Stress Health Stress , coffee coffee , Regular. Decaf. High voltage. NO CAPTION
Competency Maintenance Teamwork Technology Competency Maintenance Teamwork Technology , computer computer , I don't get it. We've checked every circuit and it still won't boot.
Leadership Managers Recognition Leadership Managers Recognition , big big , Because I'm the boss, that's why!
Animals Change Responsibility Unemployment Animals Change Responsibility Unemployment , , Dad says, 'Get a job.' - but being a leech is all I know!
Competency Productivity Safety Teamwork Competency Productivity Safety Teamwork , Product Testing Product Testing , Okay, now bring it down slowly.
Ethics Leisure Managers Sports Ethics Leisure Managers Sports , golf golf , Damn it, Grimsby. Keep still!
Communications Reliability Technology Communications Reliability Technology , desert island desert island , Out of Order NO CAPTION
Death Sales Death Sales , Grim Reaper Grim Reaper , Your 10 o'clock appointment is here.
Productivity Technology Productivity Technology , Finance vending machine Finance vending machine , Gee, things are getting tight around here.
Managers Responsibility Managers Responsibility , cigar cigar , It's a joke. Get it?
Competency Science Competency Science , microscope microscope , Wow! Things get really big when you look through this.
Effectiveness Innovation Productivity Technology Effectiveness Innovation Productivity Technology , clothes clothes , It does multiple graphs and my shorts at the same time.
Science Technology Science Technology , High Fibre Optics High Fibre Optics , Breakfast with an engineer.
Animals Farming Recruitment Animals Farming Recruitment , Benefits cows Benefits cows , And, of course, we have stock options.
Animals Effectiveness Farming Innovation Quality Retail Animals Effectiveness Farming Innovation Quality Retail , chicken chicken , Don't ask if they're fresh.
Accounting Resources Salary Accounting Resources Salary , Human bottle Human bottle , Three more bottles and we'll have enough for payroll.
, ,
Competency Service Competency Service , , Out of Order NO CAPTION
Maintenance Service Technology Maintenance Service Technology , clones clones , Hello, photocopy repair?
Accounting Unemployment Accounting Unemployment , homeless homeless , My accountant says I'm a rich man trapped in a poor man's body.
Advertising Recognition Service Advertising Recognition Service , Shop Shop , Are you Al?
Change Service Technology Change Service Technology , Reception Reception , Sorry, I don't deal with people anymore.
Persistence Recognition Persistence Recognition , Benefits storage closet Benefits storage closet , Congratulations! You finally got your own office.
Education Effectiveness Managers Training Education Effectiveness Managers Training , , Management Training. Guarantee. If you are not promoted by age 65, you can repeat the course free. NO CAPTION
Change Resources Productivity Teamwork Change Resources Productivity Teamwork , Human computer Human computer , Maybe this job-sharing plan wasn't a good idea.
Communications Initiative Innovation Technology Communications Initiative Innovation Technology , children children , Look, Mom! I just made all the phones cordless.
Accounting Resources Negotiations Unions Accounting Resources Negotiations Unions , Human child Human child , I want a six percent increase in my allowance and a comprehensive benefit plan.
Change Evolution Leadership Planning Change Evolution Leadership Planning , Full Head Comb Company Full Head Comb Company , Gentlemen, I propose we buy the Wigworld Toupee Company.
Bureaucracy Resources Recognition Bureaucracy Resources Recognition , Human Human , Actually, I'm not your Secretary. I'm the 2nd Assistant to the Apprentice in Training for the Executive's Chief Aide.
Entertainment Quality Entertainment Quality , Boy Loses Ball Shrubs Boy Loses Ball Shrubs , Looks like another slow news day.
Crime Lawyers Technology Crime Lawyers Technology , computer computer , You got 25 years for a system error?
Sales Effectiveness Marketing Sales Travel Sales Effectiveness Marketing Sales Travel , Acme Lawn Mower Acme Lawn Mower , Why do I always get the tough districts?
Animals Lawyers Pets Animals Lawyers Pets , dog dog , Here, Section 4A, 'Man's Best Friend'... it doesn't say anything about fetching.
Effectiveness Service Teamwork Effectiveness Service Teamwork , information kiosk information kiosk , Information in 22 Languages NO CAPTION
Health Stress Health Stress , , And this is the ulcer I got on the Kenshaw account.
Animals Initiative Retail Technology Animals Initiative Retail Technology , cell phone cell phone , I'm just gonna go pick up a few things for dinner.
Effectiveness Innovation Marriage Effectiveness Innovation Marriage , Public Relations blue Public Relations blue , I'm tellin' ya, honey, I'll never have to buy another suit.
Competency Dentistry Competency Dentistry , dental assistance dental assistance , Lost that darn watch again.
Ethics Leisure Managers Teamwork Ethics Leisure Managers Teamwork , hammock hammock , Say, is this in our job description?
Innovation Leisure Stress Innovation Leisure Stress , artist artist , Painting helps me loosen up.
Technology Technology , Professionalism camera security Professionalism camera security , Nobody takes these security cameras seriously.
Effectiveness Managers Effectiveness Managers , naked naked , That-a-boy, Fishbeck. Think streamlined!
Death Ethics Initiative Persistence Death Ethics Initiative Persistence , Acme Bill Collection Acme Bill Collection , You didn't think jumping out of a 10-story building would get rid of me, did you?
Effectiveness Resources Managers Recruitment Effectiveness Resources Managers Recruitment , Human arrows Human arrows , Quick, I need 10,000 more temps!
Lawyers Marriage Teamwork Lawyers Marriage Teamwork , Big Bob Little Jake Big Bob Little Jake , Well, this finalizes your legal separation ...
Initiative Innovation Marketing Initiative Innovation Marketing , drawing drawing , I'm telling you, Gilbert, nobody's going to buy a lobster bookmark.
Quality Restaurants Service Quality Restaurants Service , Diner Diner , I know you ordered steak, but fish is much better for you.
Competency Responsibility Competency Responsibility , Discipline airplane Discipline airplane , You know, of course, this will go on your permanent record.
Health Religion Risk Safety Health Religion Risk Safety , Eat The Apple Eat The Apple , C'mon sister, don't believe everything you read.
Awareness Service Awareness Service , See the Future See the Future , Wow, how did you know I wanted my fortune told?
Doctors Health Insurance Doctors Health Insurance , Benefits operation Benefits operation , ... and you realize, of course, our insurance will now cost more.
Safety Safety , arrow arrow , I was cleaning it.
Competency Crime Competency Crime , Crunch More Crunch More , I'm not sure, but it looks like the work of a cereal killer.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Human cavemen Human cavemen , The first layoff.
Innovation Innovation , Creativity Economy cryogenics Creativity Economy cryogenics , He wants me to thaw him when the recession is over.
Planning Travel Planning Travel , Columbus Columbus , Quick, where's the bathroom?!
Change Health Lawyers Quality Change Health Lawyers Quality , Professionalism court Professionalism court , Maybe it's time you took a break from Juvenile Court.
Initiative Innovation Safety Initiative Innovation Safety , Dryer Rides Dryer Rides , But you said I should get a summer job.
Competency Safety Competency Safety , Mail Room mail Mail Room mail , Hey, that looks like one of those letter bombs!
Banks Courtesy Service Banks Courtesy Service , National Bank National Bank , Excuse me, sir ... You have our pen.
Competency Construction Planning Competency Construction Planning , carpenter carpenter , You know, carpentry wasn't my first career choice.
Initiative Leadership Managers Initiative Leadership Managers , Discipline fighting Discipline fighting , Don't worry, Bob. Mr. Flatch respects honesty.
Health Stress Unemployment Health Stress Unemployment , Lay Off Notice Lay Off Notice ,
Animals Change Effectiveness Farming Managers Marriage Animals Change Effectiveness Farming Managers Marriage , cow cow , There's been a head office shake-up. From now on, you report to Phyllis.
Managers Managers , Discipline ledge Discipline ledge , Mr. McMullen says you can come back when you say you're sorry.
Ethics Retail Service Ethics Retail Service , customer customer , This package is damaged. Do I get a discount?
Accounting Accounting , Creativity Finance counterfeit money Creativity Finance counterfeit money , Payroll will be ready in a few minutes.
Education Evolution Resources Recruitment Teamwork Education Evolution Resources Recruitment Teamwork , Human slaves Human slaves , I remember when you didn't need a college degree.
Change Effectiveness Evolution Teamwork Change Effectiveness Evolution Teamwork , Research Research , We're getting back to basics.
Motivation Politics Motivation Politics , Beer Creativity Beer Creativity , Finally, we have a candidate who can attract a crowd.
Effectiveness Health Productivity Teamwork Effectiveness Health Productivity Teamwork , fish fish , Does this seem a little too easy?
Advertising Animals Health Marketing Advertising Animals Health Marketing , cow cow , Eat Pork NO CAPTION
Animals Entertainment Farming Managers Motivation Animals Entertainment Farming Managers Motivation , Barn Dance Barn Dance , It's good for morale.
Communications Safety Travel Unions Communications Safety Travel Unions , airplane airplane , It says here the air traffic controllers walked off the job this morning.
Awareness Motivation Responsibility Awareness Motivation Responsibility , From the Company that Cares From the Company that Cares , ... and just when I was about to give up on this company.
Resources Innovation Persistence Technology Training Resources Innovation Persistence Technology Training , Human Time Machine Human Time Machine , Milner, we finally found a job for you that doesn't require computer training.
Crime Innovation Teamwork Crime Innovation Teamwork , burglars burglars , I've seen this before. ... Just don't open the trunk.
Recognition Recognition , baseball baseball , Oh yeah? Well my dad has more employee awards than your dad.
Productivity Unions Productivity Unions , Santa Claus Santa Claus , On Dasher! On Prancer! Or I'll contract out!
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Discipline Human Discipline Human , It seems we have a recruiting officer who can't say no.
Unemployment Unemployment , homeless homeless , I can't find a position to suit my lifestyle.
Entertainment Technology Entertainment Technology , Movie Rentals Movie Rentals , Does this come in 8-track?
Retail Retail , mummy mummy , Love the wrap, darling. But that's been out for ages.
Stress Training Stress Training , couch couch , He can't come to the phone. He's studying for a stress management course.
Planning Planning , Holidays christmas Holidays christmas , I guess it wasn't a good idea to scale down just before Christmas.
Retail Service Retail Service , Items Less Discipline Items Less Discipline , Next time you do that, you're fired!
Competency Effectiveness Managers Religion Technology Competency Effectiveness Managers Religion Technology , Corporate Confession Corporate Confession , Forgive me, Father, for I have mismanaged.
Competency Salary Competency Salary , Payroll Payroll , We deducted the army you lost last week.
Change Managers Technology Change Managers Technology , computers computers , Relax everyone, it's just a piece of paper.
Effectiveness Entertainment Innovation Leisure Effectiveness Entertainment Innovation Leisure , pool table pool table , Just what I've always wanted - an in-ground pool table.
Technology Technology , computer computer , Whatever you do, don't ask him to boot the computer.
Advertising Competency Lawyers Advertising Competency Lawyers , convicts convicts , Never hire a lawyer from the help wanted ads.
Initiative Leadership Initiative Leadership , cow cow , Take it from me, pal - you don't have to follow the herd.
Education Sales Education Sales , Apples Economy Finance Apples Economy Finance , Like Professor Goldblatt says: Keep your overhead low and profit margin high.
Animals Retail Sales Animals Retail Sales , cow cow , Oh, yes! That's definitely you.
Effectiveness Health Psychiatry Effectiveness Health Psychiatry , , I don't mind the 'no frills' therapy, but maybe you could buy a couch.
, Creativity Creativity , You're right, we did have enough paper clips.
Quality Restaurants Service Quality Restaurants Service , Professionalism extinguisher Professionalism extinguisher , Sorry about the flambŽ. ... Would you like me to fill your glass while I'm here?
Animals Farming Innovation Animals Farming Innovation , chicken chicken , Show off!
Accounting Bureaucracy Accounting Bureaucracy , Government Government , You owe $37,584.36 in back taxes.
health risk safety , Stan Piggy Back Rides , Give it up, Morty. It isn't worth it.
Persistence Retail Persistence Retail , Grady Shoes Grady Shoes , It wasn't exactly what he expected, but finally Harold's ship came in.
Death Technology Television Death Technology Television , cemetery cemetery , Wherever you are, Frank, we knew you'd want cable.
Animals Farming Marriage Animals Farming Marriage , cow cow , You love your work more than me.
Entertainment Religion Entertainment Religion , Heaven Heaven , It's not bad - but there's no sex, beer or Sunday football.
Absenteeism Death Resources Absenteeism Death Resources , Human chalk circle Human chalk circle , You can use Hobson's desk. He won't be in today.
Doctors Effectiveness Doctors Effectiveness , wheel chair wheel chair , Got to work on those power brakes ...
Unions Unions , ledge ledge , Locked Out Local 219 NO CAPTION
Competency Resources Leadership Competency Resources Leadership , Human janitor Human janitor , I'm telling ya, honey, any bozo can run this company.
Resources Recruitment Unemployment Resources Recruitment Unemployment , Heaven Human Heaven Human , What d'ya mean, you don't need any more consultants?
Quality Quality , Manufacturing Old Fashion Soup Manufacturing Old Fashion Soup , Okay, now add the 'pinch of salt' ...
Managers Quality Service Managers Quality Service , , Perhaps you should speak to my Supervisor.
Initiative Innovation Marketing Sales Initiative Innovation Marketing Sales , children children , For $10,000, I can sell you a franchise.
Awareness Ethics Psychiatry Awareness Ethics Psychiatry , couch couch , Call me paranoid, but I think people at work are making fun of me.
Effectiveness Health Science Effectiveness Health Science , diet pills diet pills , It worked, didn't it?
Initiative Pets Television Initiative Pets Television , fish fish , Honey, have you seen the remote control?
Resources Innovation Recruitment Safety Resources Innovation Recruitment Safety , Human employment agency Human employment agency , This is my stunt double. I won't do anything dangerous.
Health Sales Health Sales , doctor doctor , My prognosis? Thank goodness! I thought it was our sales picture.
Persistence Travel Persistence Travel , Government border Government border , Okay, smart guy, we know you're hiding something.
Banks Competency Crime Banks Competency Crime , robber robber , ... and transfer this to my account.
Crime Innovation Planning Safety Crime Innovation Planning Safety , architect architect , It's a convenience store.
Awareness Health Safety Science Awareness Health Safety Science , coffee coffee , White sugar? Are you nuts? That stuff can kill you!
Resources Leadership Managers Science Resources Leadership Managers Science , Frankenstein Human Frankenstein Human , ... and he's got leadership potential.
Competency Resources Recruitment Competency Resources Recruitment , Human Human , Do you have other references besides Snake and Butthead?
Bureaucracy Planning Bureaucracy Planning , Government baby management Government baby management , Oh look, honey! She drew an organization chart!
Change Effectiveness Evolution Innovation Science Change Effectiveness Evolution Innovation Science , globe globe , Early map-making techniques.
Competency Reliability Sports Competency Reliability Sports , Professionalism baseball Professionalism baseball , Hold on, the ball is coming.
Bureaucracy Effectiveness Teamwork Bureaucracy Effectiveness Teamwork , hunting hunting , All in favor of shooting that duck ...
Managers Miscellaneous Safety Stress Managers Miscellaneous Safety Stress , wolf wolf , Should I hold your calls?
Psychiatry Recognition Psychiatry Recognition , Multiple Personality Convention Multiple Personality Convention , Say, haven't I met some of you before?
Effectiveness Resources Recruitment Effectiveness Resources Recruitment , Human files Human files , Our filing clerk quit in '78.
Education Health Innovation Safety Science Education Health Innovation Safety Science , mutants mutants , ... and without nuclear physics, we wouldn't be here today.
Persistence Quality Restaurants Service Persistence Quality Restaurants Service , devil devil , I don't care who you know. We don't take reservations.
Change Health Innovation Change Health Innovation , chainsaw chainsaw , NO CAPTION pregnant woman with chain saw
Accounting Evolution Initiative Leadership Accounting Evolution Initiative Leadership , Finance Finance , I suggest we sell all our assets and buy lottery tickets.
Quality Safety Quality Safety , Manufacturing Open Rite Parachute Company Manufacturing Open Rite Parachute Company , I want to speak to inspector 12!
Effectiveness Training Effectiveness Training , Crash Course Crash Course , How much is the regular course?
Animals Ethics Farming Animals Ethics Farming , cows cows , I think he's skimming off the top.
Restaurants Service Restaurants Service , Meatloaf Meatloaf , If you want something fancy, you should have ordered it yesterday.
Resources Unemployment Resources Unemployment , Best Before 1999 Human Best Before 1999 Human , You're taking this retirement thing too hard, Wilson.
Change Unemployment Change Unemployment , Layoff Layoff , Seeing that it's your birthday, Parker, we'll wait until the end of the day before giving you the bad news.
Change Unemployment Change Unemployment , Layoff Notice Layoff Notice , On the upside, I got $100 for my labor-saving suggestion!
Change Miscellaneous Change Miscellaneous , Watch Your Back Watch Your Back , Naturally, you can decorate it any way you want.
Change Effectiveness Change Effectiveness , Creativity Finance Creativity Finance , Excellent cost-saving suggestions, Tompkins.
Change Entertainment Technology Change Entertainment Technology , Tonite Laptop Dancing Tonite Laptop Dancing , Tonite: Laptop Dancing NO CAPTION
Change Doctors Health Change Doctors Health , doctor doctor , I'm afraid, Mr. Johnson, you have an eating disorder.
Change Change , 000 Discipline 000 Discipline , We hardly ever use it.
Animals Change Motivation Animals Change Motivation , Annual Report Annual Report , It's not much, but at least we have a steak in the company.
Bureaucracy Change Teamwork Bureaucracy Change Teamwork , Staff Picnic Staff Picnic , OK, Wilson, you start the fun.
Technology , computers , Don't believe everything you hear about computer viruses.
Change Change , Professionalism dress code Professionalism dress code , Say, isn't this supposed to be a casual-dress day?
Change Innovation Sales Change Innovation Sales , Invisible Cars Invisible Cars , Air is extra.
Television , , We didn't really need the picture-in-picture feature.
Change Salary Change Salary , Benefits Professionalism dress code Benefits Professionalism dress code , The pay stinks, but fortunately there's a casual dress code.
Change Crime Innovation Change Crime Innovation , Serve and Protect Visa American Express Club Serve and Protect Visa American Express Club , For more serious crimes, we offer a payment plan.
Change Technology Change Technology , , See Our Company's Future! Out of Order NO CAPTION
Animals Change Communications Animals Change Communications , Creativity art cavemen Creativity art cavemen , Cave Men Drawing NO CAPTION
, Discipline burn the stake , First, let us assure you this isn't a witch hunt...
Death Death , vulture vulture , I'm telling you, he knows something.
Animals Change Pets Philosophy Animals Change Pets Philosophy , bowl career cartoons bowl career cartoons , Trust me - it's better to be a little fish in a big pond.
Philosophy , attitude fish , Having your world as an oyster isn't what it's cracked up to be.
Change Competency Technology Change Competency Technology , Shredder Shredder , I think I pressed the wrong button.
Change Insurance Insurance Religion Change Insurance Insurance Religion , General General , Sorry, but your policy doesn't cover an act of God.
Change Entertainment Change Entertainment , Annual Report the Sequel Finance Annual Report the Sequel Finance , It wasn't as good as the book.
Change Dentistry Change Dentistry , Ryan Orthodontist Ryan Orthodontist , You just have to wear it at night.
Animals Change Managers Productivity Animals Change Managers Productivity , chickens chickens , I don't lay eggs anymore ... I'm in management.
Change Leisure Persistence Change Leisure Persistence , The Art Wine Tasting The Art Wine Tasting , He can't get past Page 3.
Change Miscellaneous Change Miscellaneous , Professionalism dating romance Professionalism dating romance , We've decided to come out of the supply closet.
Change Managers Recognition Change Managers Recognition , Love Management Professionalism Love Management Professionalism , Nice try, Milbury.
Change Quality Technology Change Quality Technology , 2000 2000 , I told you not to buy a cheap shredder.
Change Doctors Health Stress Change Doctors Health Stress , doctor doctor , Lose weight, don't smoke, eat fiber ... and now you say I'm stressed?!
Change Resources Recruitment Change Resources Recruitment , Harris Wig Human Harris Wig Human , Have you grown hair before?
Marketing , auto , A-1 AUTO PARTS NO CAPTION
Change Change , Discipline Discipline , Sure, I didn't have to tar and feather you, but I wanted to impress the client.
Change Resources Unemployment Change Resources Unemployment , Human fish Human fish , Don't think of it as a layoff ... just a catch and release.
Change Effectiveness Insurance Insurance Change Effectiveness Insurance Insurance , General General , This policy protects you from insurance companies that don't pay their claims.
Change Technology Change Technology , Cryogenics Lab Cryogenics Lab , I just need it for eight months.
Bureaucracy Change Bureaucracy Change , Government IRS Government IRS , What's a form 1040?
Change Negotiations Unions Change Negotiations Unions , , We should settle, Sir, before they bring in the do-gooders.
Change Resources Recruitment Change Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , Any references other than your parole officer?
Change Effectiveness Planning Change Effectiveness Planning , Corporate Astrology Corporate Astrology , Work on employee relations; sales may be down but positive outlook will prove beneficial.
persistence , bed heath , Still can't sleep?
Change Health Change Health , Drug Free Workplace Drug Free Workplace , What did you think it meant?
Change Competency Reliability Change Competency Reliability , assistant assistant , I can get you coffee, but donuts are not in my job description.
sports , boxing bull , He's got a glass jaw.
Change Retail Sales Change Retail Sales , Rare Emeralds Rare Emeralds , We just have one.
Change Death Effectiveness Change Death Effectiveness , Bus Stop Bus Stop , He still has three more days on his bus pass.
Change Crime Entertainment Lawyers Change Crime Entertainment Lawyers , court court , The jury will disregard the defendant's claim that Mel Gibson will be portraying him in The Movie of the Week.
Change Marketing Motivation Change Marketing Motivation , , It's our logo.
Animals Change Animals Change , Discipline Professionalism Report Discipline Professionalism Report , I ate it on the way in.
Animals Change Leisure Productivity Animals Change Leisure Productivity , fish fish , And the guy was this big!!!
Change Quality Restaurants Change Quality Restaurants , Coffee 2000 Flavors cappuccino espresso latte cafe Coffee 2000 Flavors cappuccino espresso latte cafe , Do you have instant?
religion service travel , ark , We've overbooked the cruise, but we can put you on our next one.
Change Innovation Planning Change Innovation Planning , Used Mission Statement Used Mission Statement , Most are still good ... just a little tired.
Animals Change Resources Recruitment Animals Change Resources Recruitment , Human Crimp Human Crimp , I brought a sample of my work.
Change Crime Change Crime , pirate ship pirate ship , Aye, Captain - she's carrying a load of CDs.
Animals Change Travel Animals Change Travel , Holidays can Holidays can , I hate these package tours.
Change Ethics Initiative Innovation Change Ethics Initiative Innovation , Inflated Road Kill Inflated Road Kill , Hey, it's not like I killed them or anything.
Change Salary Change Salary , children children , Good news, Milwood - you can live with your parents after the salary cuts!
Change Planning Planning Change Planning Planning , Corporate Committee Corporate Committee , OK, Morris wants corned beef, Lewis gets egg salad ...
Change Unions Change Unions , gun gun , You the new union rep?
Change Communications Effectiveness Entertainment Change Communications Effectiveness Entertainment , This Report May Contain Nudity And Coarse Language This Report May Contain Nudity And Coarse Language , This always gets their attention.
resources religion , Work Never Done human , You would think we'd at least get Sundays off.
Change Effectiveness Change Effectiveness , airplane airplane , They were looking for flight experience.
Change Effectiveness Change Effectiveness , cuts cuts , It's not as bad as the cuts in administration.
Change Teamwork Change Teamwork , , Well, it would have worked if we did it my way.
Change Ethics Psychiatry Television Change Ethics Psychiatry Television , cameraman cameraman , Will you be jumping before our 3 o'clock deadline?
Change marriage Change marriage , , And do you, Lisa, promise to love, honor and give two week's notice?
innovation leisure , fisherman fishing , MARINE LAND NO CAPTION
Change Managers Change Managers , , Sorry, Biswell - you're just not management material.
Change Psychiatry Change Psychiatry , couch couch , I just don't feel special anymore.
Change Change , Finance bank Finance bank , OFF SHORE BANKING NO CAPTION
effectiveness health , sheep , SLEEP THERAPY NO CAPTION
Change Technology Unions Change Technology Unions , appliances appliances , What d'ya mean you're on strike?
Change Quality Restaurants Change Quality Restaurants , chef chef , Would you like another bowl?
Change Death Training Change Death Training , Driving School Driving School , Is this where I get my certificate?
Change Ethics Resources Change Ethics Resources , Human Personnel Human Personnel , I'm willing to sleep my way the top.
Absenteeism Awareness Change Recognition Absenteeism Awareness Change Recognition , blind blind , Another good employee review, Milrod - keep it up.
Philosophy Technology Philosophy Technology , oracle oracle , Go to www.yahoo.com, then search for 'truth and wisdom'...
Animals Change Farming Animals Change Farming , cow cow , He's a heavy sleeper.
Change Competency Maintenance Technology Change Competency Maintenance Technology , Repairs Repairs , It's your carburetor.
Bureaucracy Change Competency Health Bureaucracy Change Competency Health , Meetings Anonymous Meetings Anonymous , My name is Joe, and I can't stop attending meetings.
Change Motivation Change Motivation , Professionalism Special Cream Pies Professionalism Special Cream Pies , Careful what you say ... anything can set him off.
Change Death Resources Change Death Resources , Human RIP Bob Steven Human RIP Bob Steven , No, I didn't know him, but he created a job opening for me.
Lawyers , lawyer , I must caution you not to damage my client's reputation.
Change Death Health Change Death Health , RIP Bob Puft RIP Bob Puft , He still hasn't quit smoking.
Technology , children , Kids, I've told you before - don't feed the computer scraps from the table!
Change Initiative Innovation Change Initiative Innovation , Used Used , This isn't the entrepreneurial spirit we expect from our employees, Wiskin.
Change Evolution Service Change Evolution Service , , Early man.
Change Psychiatry Change Psychiatry , Patient Patient , Why can't people see me for who I really am?
Teamwork Teamwork , Team Building Course Team Building Course , Let's agree to blame this on Filmore from accounting.
Insurance Insurance Service Insurance Insurance Service , General Professionalism General Professionalism , OK if I just call you 'C35'?
, Barn Lead Hand , You've got to admit - it'll look good on our resumŽs.
Lawyers Lawyers , Sue Sue , Actually, I'm an attorney.
animals ethics , hunting , Sure, I feel like a heel, but it's the law of the jungle!
Persistence Persistence , Professionalism breakfast bed Professionalism breakfast bed , I know he's the company brown-noser, but why can't he just do it at the office?
, Been There Done That Holidays Been There Done That Holidays , What did you do on your vacation?
, ,
Resources Recruitment Resources Recruitment , Human Taylor Brisson Amey Scott Victor Kent Popowich Crawford Roberts Human Taylor Brisson Amey Scott Victor Kent Popowich Crawford Roberts , We don't bother interviewing anymore.
Insurance Education Insurance Insurance Education Insurance , Ace Ace , Studies show that nine out of 10 knee scrapes occur in the school yard.
Quality Retail Service Quality Retail Service , Acme Cleaners Acme Cleaners , I know you got the spots out, but it's supposed to be a polka-dot dress.
Communications Effectiveness Technology Communications Effectiveness Technology , cabinets cabinets , These are the e-mail letters we send and receive each week...
Miscellaneous Politics Miscellaneous Politics , disguise disguise , You've gotta watch your back around here.
Bureaucracy Effectiveness Bureaucracy Effectiveness , Rescue Application Forms Rescue Application Forms , RESCUE APPLICATION FORMS NO CAPTION
Effectiveness Productivity Effectiveness Productivity , analysis analysis , Your monthly reports give us only part of the picture, Millmut.
Doctors Health Doctors Health , blood blood , The doctor wants to run a few more blood tests.
Education Lawyers Education Lawyers , ABCDEFGH ABCDEFGH , My attorney says you've breached your fiduciary duty to prepare me for the real world.
Ethics Resources Ethics Resources , Human Merskin nepotism Human Merskin nepotism , Funny how everyone in your division has the same last name as you, Merskin.
Marriage Service Marriage Service , Complaints Complaints , And he sits around the house watching TV; he never offers to help...
Lawyers Lawyers , Conflict boxing Conflict boxing , OK, boys, start swinging or take your fight to court.
Crime Doctors Crime Doctors , doctor doctor , Take the wallet and the appendix, and let's get out of here.
Responsibility Responsibility , insane insane , Maybe we gave him too much responsibility.
Bureaucracy Managers Bureaucracy Managers , computer computer , It's no game, sir. I'm navigating through management bureaucracy.
Communications Motivation Communications Motivation , Welcome Nudists Welcome Nudists , Just imagine them with clothes on.
reliability teamwork , cards professionalism , I don't trust him - he's a wild card.
Competency Productivity Competency Productivity , Professionalism Professionalism , So, I say if it's not worth doing well, it's not worth doing at all.
Courtesy Reliability Teamwork , , Hey! C'mon, let me back in. It was just a whoopee cushion!
Effectiveness Health Innovation Effectiveness Health Innovation , ergometer ergometer , I can do 30 miles a day.
Productivity Productivity , microphone microphone , I think you're worrying too much about what other people say about you.
Sales Sales Sales Sales , Honest Auto Professionalism Honest Auto Professionalism , Trust me, your deodorant isn't working.
Animals Pets Safety Travel Animals Pets Safety Travel , dog dog , Let's hope the poodle up front knows how to land this thing.
Awareness Religion Awareness Religion , Lost Tribe Israel Lost Tribe Israel , Maybe we should stop and ask for directions.
Change Unemployment Change Unemployment , Speed Bump Speed Bump , I just didn't have the heart to lay you off, Lumstead.
Managers Recognition Managers Recognition , Gasoline Gasoline , Ok, ok... you're all doing a good job and I appreciate you.
Advertising Competency Marketing Advertising Competency Marketing , , CUSTOM MADE SINES NO CAPTION
Innovation Innovation , Creativity Professionalism Wishing Well Creativity Professionalism Wishing Well , Maybe we should include our cash-flow projections.
Communications Effectiveness Communications Effectiveness , Efficient Communication Efficient Communication , If the staff can be trained to talk faster, we could save $3.6 million in long-distance charges alone.
Effectiveness Recognition Reliability Effectiveness Recognition Reliability , Ace Consulting Ace Consulting , I like it - it's just what my staff has been suggesting for years!
Resources Managers Recognition Resources Managers Recognition , Human Human , It makes you miss the good ol' days when they at least pretended to value employees.
Awareness Ethics Awareness Ethics , Disclosure Disclosure , What do you think you're hiding with that hair weave?
Effectiveness Effectiveness , amputation amputation , I don't think we can take any more of these staff cuts.
Death Resources Recruitment Death Resources Recruitment , Admissions Human Admissions Human , I'm still feeling out other offers.
Negotiations Negotiations , Ace Consulting Ace Consulting , For an extra $50,000, I'll give you the same advice I gave your competitors.
Planning Planning , Creativity Tattoo Creativity Tattoo , Just put 'To Whom It May Concern'.
Communications Doctors Communications Doctors , doctor doctor , Ok, first word, 'chop'... second word sounds like 'sick'...
lawyers lawyers , , Actually, they're my attorneys.
Communications Competency Communications Competency , iron iron , He insisted that I iron out the wrinkles before he'll accept it.
Effectiveness Planning Safety , , It worked last time.
Planning , Inflatable Island , Good thing we took the emergency kit.
Competency Marketing Travel Competency Marketing Travel , , What typo?
Competency Resources Recruitment Competency Resources Recruitment , Human Personnel Human Personnel , Sure, I'm computer literate... C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R.
Leisure Sports Leisure Sports , bug hunting bug hunting , It was just him, me and a can of Raid.
Quality Retail Quality Retail , The Flower Shop The Flower Shop , Red or blue?
Quality Restaurants Quality Restaurants , food food , Why don't you just tell them it's too rare?
Death Safety Sports , angels , I knew we shouldn't have taken the expert hill.
Animals Animals , Eatmore Fisheries Finance Manufacturing Eatmore Fisheries Finance Manufacturing , What profits?
Animals Planning , bears , We need a plan.
Technology Technology , facsimile facsimile , Someone keeps sending him faxes on his voice line.
Bureaucracy Bureaucracy , interrogation interrogation , OK, I'll talk - but, please, don't make me fill out any forms!
, Bungee Jump , Trust me... it'll be much more fun than last time.
Safety Technology , camera , zzzzz... click.
Sales , Soliciting , Damn.
Service , bats , Yes, could I have a wake-up call for midnight?
Innovation Productivity , Work Marathon , Brilliant idea, Filstrupp... and next week we'll have the playoffs!
Resources Resources , Human punching bag Human punching bag , Are you sure this is my job description?